I Do

Vision by Carol Steen

Vision by Carol Steen; Oil on Paper; 15x12-3/4" 1996. A representation of a synesthetic photism experienced during acupuncture.

Your Irrational Brain - David Ropeik - Big Think Series

Your Irrational Brain - David Ropeik - Big Think series

Published on Jul 26, 2012

That we are not instinctively built that way must be recognized if we're going to get beyond the risks of not being built that way, says David Ropeik.

Ropeik an Instructor at Harvard, a consultant in risk perception and risk communication, author of How Risky Is it, Really? Why Our Fears Don't Always Match the Facts, and principal co-author of RISK, A Practical Guide for Deciding What's Really Safe and What's Really Dangerous in the World Around You.

http://bigthink.co

Hello Kitty In Space - 7th Grade Science Project

I'm in my 30s and watching this video was enjoyable but anxiety provoking. Flashbacks to the stressors of school. How is it that science projects have evolved into such complexity? This is a far cry from volcanoes and solar system displays.

Hello Kitty In Space - Published on Jan 25, 2013

 

Cornerstone Christian school 7th grade science project.
The effects of Altitude on air pressure and temperature.
Cameras: GoPro Hero2 video footage.
Edited By: Eddie Lacayo elacayo212@gmail.com
Flight gear: High Altitude Science.
Flight computer / Data acquisition: High Altitude Science.
Tree Climber: Woodpecker Arborist.
Music: We Are Young by: Fun (Feat Janelle Monáe)

Philosopher Dan Dennet Calls for All Religion to be Taught in Schools and Embraces Evolution

http://www.ted.com Philosopher Dan Dennett calls for religion -- all religion -- to be taught in schools, so we can understand its nature as a natural phenomenon. Then he takes on The Purpose-Driven Life, disputing its claim that, to be moral, one must deny evolution.


Dan Dennett - TED Talks

Men Who Think They Can Compartmentlize Porn and Reality

(source)

"I’m not a biologist or a psychologist, but it seems perfectly plausible to me that the desire to look at lots and lots of naked women isn’t just a function of culture, but may also be a function of physiology. 

But so what?  Lots of things are natural — and natural is not, despite the claim of some health food stores, invariably a synonym for "good."  It’s natural for us to defecate on ourselves; using the toilet is a learned behavior that involves controlling an instinctive urge.  I think we’re all deeply grateful to have learned to control this natural instinct.  I’m not interested in suggesting that feminist men shouldn’t want to look at porn; I’m suggesting that he should overcome what may be for him a very basic instinct.  In other words, what makes a man a pro-feminist is not the absence of desire, but his commitment to work to redirect that desire.

Ultimately, the great tragedy of porn is that it teaches the men who use it to pursue "everlasting novelty."

~Hugo Schwyzer (gender studies professor at Pasadena College in California). Excerpt from The Average Guy Who Can Compartmentalize, Disconnect, and Then Come Back: A Response to Ethan On Porn.

not just a park bench

I fucking love science


Description per facebook page:
 
 This is the Green Lake, situated in Tragoess, Styria, Austria. The lake sits at the foot of the snow capped Hochschwab mountains.

The lake looks unusual, in that it looks like an underwater park. That is because it is!

In the wintertime, the lake is almost nonexistent and the area is used as a park, which is a favorite among hikers.

In the springtime however, the ice and snow on the mountains melts, and this melt-water fills the basin below. The park is filled with this ice cold, almost crystal clear water. The lake looks green in color due to the foliage beneath.

The water levels rise from about one or two meters deep in the winter to as much as 10 meters in the late spring and early summer.

The waters are at their highest in June when it becomes a mecca for divers keen to explore the rare phenomenon, before the waters recede at the end of July.

They Look Like Dinosaurs

The Happiness Advantage: Linking Positive Brains to Performance by Shawn Achor

The highly entertaining Shawn Achor speaks about how happiness can improve our ability to create, produce and perform in school, business, and life. Achor is in the field of Positive Psychology and in within this talk he emphasizes that we can alter our brain patterns.

While Achors talk is very motivating and humorous he offers minimal ways in which to achieve happiness, however, he offers a good base. He gives us just a taste of a concept would require more exploration. The link to his website is at the end of this post.


 The Happiness Advantage: Linking Positive Brains to Performance by Shawn Achor

Per Youtube Description:

Shawn Achor is the winner of over a dozen distinguished teaching awards at Harvard University, where he delivered lectures on positive psychology in the most popular class at Harvard.

His research and lectures on happiness and human potential have received attention in The New York Times, Boston Globe, The Wall Street Journal, as well as on NPR and CNN Radio, and he travels around the United States and Europe giving talks on positive psychology to Fortune 500 corporations, schools, and non-profit organizations.

Achor graduated magna cum laude from Harvard with a BA in English and Religion and earned a Masters degree from Harvard Divinity School in Christian and Buddhist ethics.

Now he is the CEO of Aspirant, a Cambridge-based consulting firm which researches positive outliers-people who are well above average-to understand where human potential, success and happiness intersect. Based on his research and 12 years of experience at Harvard, he clearly and humorously describes to organizations how to increase happiness and meaning, raise success rates and profitability, and create positive transformations that ripple into more successful cultures.

In Shawn's TEDxBloomington presentation, he says that most modern research focuses on the average, but that "if we focus on the average, we will remain merely average." He wants to study the positive outliers, and learn how not only to bring people up to the average, but to move the entire average up.

To learn more, visit the official Shawn Achor website.
To learn more about TED talks visit the official TED website.

ECT Not for Me

(source)
 
"Maybe you need ECT", she said to me a little too casually. It was two years ago, at the age of 29 that a therapist suggested that Electroconvulsive Therapy (formerly known as Electroshock Therapy) might be beneficial in treating my depression. She said it in a tone that was as casual as a strolling walk.

I no longer have this therapist. Not because I didn't like her or the services she provided, but my employer switched insurances at the time and so I had to drop her.

I remembered leaving that session stunned. No, not shocked. But stunned. She had silenced me, she had worried me. Am I that bad off? My depression was crippling me and yes, things were bad. It was that year that I found a VERY good shrink and was prescribed meds that gave me room to sigh. I've had Dysthymia for years. Since childhood. The DSM-IV-TR defines Dysthymia as a low-grade chronic depression. Don't let the "low-grade" fool you. Dysthymia can often be more powerful than Major Depression. A person with MDD must experience at least one major depressive episode for at least two weeks in order to meet criteria. A person diagnosed with Dysthymia must carry depressive symptoms every day for at least two years to meet criteria.

Some therapists have diagnosed me with "Double Depression" which is not an official DSM diagnosis but is often used within psychology and psychiatry. It is considered Dysthymia but with bouts of Major Depressive episodes. Constant depression but with major dips that can last a couple of weeks. After those dips, a person returns to a baseline of Dysthymia. There is never a break from depressive symptoms.

Once upon a time I referred to the DSM as "the bible." Many folks in "the biz" called it that as it held the diagnostic criteria for all recognized disorders under the American Psychiatric Association. I no longer refer to it as "the bible" as I believe that is quite insulting. When I was a student I was infrequently reminded that the DSM is meant to be used as a "guide." But really, any mental health position is going to require an employee to go by the book, so to speak.

I am a psychiatric social worker. I entered graduate school in 2006 (graduated in 2008) so as to become a therapist and work with the "worried well." I shifted my sights during grad school and now I offer therapy, but for the "severe and persistently mentally ill." Mainly individuals who experience Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder. Individuals who are high functioning enough to undergo therapy.

For insurance purposes, clients must be given an immediate diagnosis. Drives me crazy. The diagnosis may not be accurate as it can be difficult to know a person's true diagnosis until a clinician is able to meet with a patient over a period of time. Schizophrenia Undifferentiated Type? Schizophrenia Disorganized Type? Schizophrenia Paranoid Type? Schizoaffective? Schizoaffective Bipolar Type? It takes time to figure it out.

I had been against the idea of medication until the age of 23. It was not just that I was depressed but my memory had deteriorated to the point where I couldn't retain anything. The journey was a long one but I am happy to say that I am stable on meds. "Stable" means different things to different people and in my case it certainly doesn't mean "cured." 

When I underwent an internship at a psychotic hospital I was exposed to some very sick people. I continued to work in hospitals and saw the sickest of the sickest. It always pained me when I would work with a patient who was so sick that the meds just wouldn't touch them.

During my internship I had a patient who was going to receive ECT. It was a last resort and rarely used. The patient never went through with the treatment as he eventually felt the effect of the medications he was prescribed. When the patient was initially going to receive the treatment I asked the attending psychiatrist if I could observe it.

He said that he would and explained to me that the process is not as dramatic as it once was. It's no Cuckoo's Next. The person is put to sleep and does not feel the shock. ECT causes a seizure in the brain, that reboots the emotional wiring.

Treatments are to be carried out a few times a week over the course of two weeks to a month.Electricity is administered to the head for about a fraction of a second and a seizure may last about as long. The body is mostly calm. A person's foot may wave back and forth a bit, but that is usually all. When a person comes out of it they might feel a little foggy but it subsides.

Although the treatment is supposedly very effective, there is a risk of memory loss. When a person is depressed, memory loss is a symptom. It certainly was for me. So, ECT would potentially worsen my memory if I had decided to go through with it.

Not only that, but ECT is not long lasting. A person would need to continue treatments in order to maintain relief. Some feel that ECT has changed their life for the better. I for one, am glad that I never went down that road.

I've got a couple of people in my life who are going through some pretty tough stuff. As a friend I continue to do my best in supporting them. I've recommended therapy to both of them and they are heeding that advice.  I've suggested medications and they are heeding that advice as well. It is their struggles that brought me to the memory of my former therapist and her suggestion.

Desperate times may call for desperate measures and sometimes we experiment and fail. But hopefully we learn from our failures and keep on keepin' on. I did and I'm glad I did.

9 planets

I'm in love.

(source)

Sense and Sensitivity by Andrea Bartz

I'm usually not a fan of the magazine Psychology Today. I find it to be a pop psych magazine. Every now and then however, I will find an interesting article.

Sense and Sensitivity
By Andrea Bartz, published on July 05, 2011 - last reviewed on December 15, 2011

They tear up at phone commercials. They brood for days over a gentle ribbing. They know what you're feeling before you do. Their nerve cells are actually hyperreactive. Say hello to the Highly Sensitive Person—you've probably already made him cry.

Settling into a chair for coffee with a friend, Jodi Fedor feels her heart begin to pound. Tension creeps through her rib cage. Anger vibrates in her solar plexus. But she's not upset about anything. The person across from her is. Fedor soaks up others' moods like a sponge.

On a walk through her neighborhood in Ottawa, Canada, her attention zeroes in on the one budded leaf that hasn't unfurled; it brings a lump to her throat. The cawing of a far-off crow galvanizes her attention. An abandoned nest half-hidden amid the treetops fills her with awe.

Less lovely stimuli can have equally powerful effects. As a child, a casual schoolyard taunt led to "sobbing and histrionics." Nowadays a small slight can ricochet through her entire body "like I'm actually wounded."
Fedor is sensitive—an adjective usually preceded by too. "I'm like an exposed nerve," she says. "At its worst, my sensitivity turns me into an emotional weather vane at the whim of my environment." But at its best, it's a gift, a fine-tuned finger on the pulse of every flutter of her surroundings.

The Highly Sensitive Person has always been part of the human landscape. There's evidence that many creative types are highly sensitive, perceiving cultural currents long before they are manifest to the mainstream, able to take in the richness of small things others often miss. Others may be especially sensitive to animals and how they are handled. They're also the ones whose feelings are so easily bruised that they're constantly being told to "toughen up."

Today, science is validating a group of people whose sensitivity surfaces in many domains of life. Attuned to subtleties of all kinds, they have a complex inner life and need time to process the constant flow of sensory data that is their inheritance. Some may be particularly prone to the handful of hard-to-pin-down disorders like chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. Technology is now providing an especially revealing window into that which likely defines them all—a nervous system set to register stimuli at very low frequency and amplify them internally.

We all experience shades of sensitivity. Who isn't rocked by rejection and crushed by criticism? But for HSPs, emotional experience is at such a constant intensity that it shapes their personality and their lives—job performance, social life, intimate relationships—as much as gender and race do. Those who learn to dial down the relentless swooping and cresting of emotions that is the almost invariable accompaniment to extreme sensitivity are able to transform raw perception into keen perceptiveness.

Dan Nainan, a full-time stand-up comic based in New York, gets tunnel vision after every show: "A thousand people stop by and say they enjoyed it, but one person says something negative and I take it so personally," he says. "It's led to some fights and has almost come to physical blows." He appreciates the irony in hating criticism yet voluntarily getting in front of a packed auditorium every night. "In a regular 9-to-5, no one's walking up to you and yelling, 'You're terrible!' "

The Outside, Amplified

Highly sensitive people are all around us. They make up about 20 percent of the population, and likely include equal numbers of men and women. All the available evidence suggests they are born and not made.
You would likely spot them by their most visible feature, their overemotionality. Shari Lynn Rothstein-Kramer, who owns a marketing firm in Miami, Florida, cries almost daily. The sight of a beautiful outfit or exquisite handbag can choke her up. She recently found a note from a neighbor on her windshield that read, "Park in the middle of your space!!" and teared up on the spot. She had to persuade herself not to let it ruin her day.

The proverbial thin skin of HSPs covers a highly permeable nervous system. Gentle ribbing or an offhand jab can leave them brooding for days. But just as likely, an unexpected compliment or kind exchange can send their mood soaring, while the sight of a dad playing adoringly with his child can bring on tears fueled by a rush of warmth.

A news segment about a disturbing event—a death, a rape—can upset them deeply. Reading about a recent gang rape, New York actor and writer Jim Dailakis became "overwhelmingly emotional. I couldn't stop thinking about what that poor woman went through and how it affected her loved ones. I felt sadness mixed with unbelievable rage toward her attackers." Given their extreme ability to sense and internalize the moods of those around them, the presence of an agitated person, even a stranger with whom they never interact, can make them uneasy.

HSPs often have a heightened sense of smell or touch and, say, zero tolerance for itchy fabrics or sudden sounds—reflecting their low threshold for sensory input. They complain about things no one else notices; a colleague's deodorant or a scented candle gives them headaches. And there's that damn light buzzing in the otherwise quiet office. An hour or two into a party or other sensory-rich event and they've withdrawn to a corner, a prelude to announcing they need to go home.

Above all, HSPs are defined by their internal experience. "It's like feeling something with 50 fingers as opposed to 10," explains Judith Orloff, a psychiatrist and author of Emotional Freedom. "You have more receptors to perceive things."

Highly sensitive people are often taken for introverts, and, as with introverts, social interaction depletes them. But in fact they react strongly to everything in their environment. As a result, they need and typically seek extra processing time to sort out their experience. About one in five HSPs are actually extraverts, social sensation seekers who derive pleasure from chatty interactions. But they, too, draw unusually heavily on cognitive horsepower to digest their experiences.

Rothstein-Kramer considers herself a highly sensitive extravert. "I'd even go with 'gregarious,'" she says, chuckling. "When people are positive, it inspires me to be more outgoing and energized." But negative interactions send her spiraling south: "People give me the highest highs and lowest lows."

In general, the heavy cognitive demands on all HSPs predispose them to a more reactive than boldly active stance in life. All that sensory input consumes psychic resources for thinking before they take action. Any risks they face are carefully calculated.

Delicate Subjects

The notion that there is a whole category of people whose nervous systems overreact to ordinary stimuli grew out of the personal experience of psychologist Elaine Aron. In 1991, she began seeing a psychotherapist for help coping with her intense response to a medical issue. On Aron's second visit, the therapist nonchalantly suggested that Aron's outsize reaction to a minor physical problem was "just because you're highly sensitive."
"I had noticed I was different," she says, "but I didn't have a way to conceptualize it. The term stuck with me, and I set out to see what we really mean by 'sensitivity.'" The short answer: nothing like the acute emotional responsiveness she had in mind. An in-depth search of the literature turned up only an occasional reference to chemical or medication sensitivity and vague references to sensitivity as a key dimension of mothering.
Aron's search led her to the work of Ernest Hartmann, a psychiatrist at Tufts University best known for his dream research. Around the same time, he was solidifying the concept of boundaries as a dimension of personality and way of experiencing the world. Life, he observes, is made up of boundaries—between past and present, you and me, subject and object. And people differ in the way they embody and perceive boundaries.

In his schema, people with thin mental boundaries do not clearly separate the contents of consciousness, so that a fantasy life of daydreaming may bump right up against everyday reality. It's as if those with thin boundaries have porous shells that allow more of their environment to penetrate and "get" to them—and into their dreams. Hartmann's concept of the thin-boundaried seemed to suggest that there indeed exists a group of people who take in a whole lot more than others.

Too, Aron saw intimations of highly sensitive people in Jerome Kagan's now-classic research delineating infant temperament. A Harvard psychologist, Kagan had found that about 10 to 20 percent of infants begin life with a tightly tuned nervous system that makes them easily aroused, jumpy, and distressed in response to novel stimuli. Such highly reactive infants, as he termed them, run the risk of growing into "inhibited" children, who tend to withdraw from experience as a defense and are at high risk for anxiety.

Kagan says his "high reactives" have only one specific kind of sensitivity—"a sensitivity to events in the environment that imply a new challenge." And brain imaging studies show that their reactivity reflects a distinctive biological feature: a hyperresponsive amygdala, the brain center that assesses threats and governs the fear response. Unexpected events—from a blizzard to a pop quiz—set off the alarm system embedded in their naturally touchy amygdala, keeping them on the constant lookout for danger.

Relieved to find indications that there existed people governed by sensitivity, Aron was disappointed that the feature, however defined, was associated only with pathology. As a psychologist, she says, "I decided to start at the ground and see what people who identify with the word think of it." Thirty "grueling" three-hour interviews later, she was on her way to creating a 27-item questionnaire that is the benchmark for sensitivity. "I have a rich, complex inner life." Check. "I am made uncomfortable by loud noises." Check.

Born to Be Mild

Advancing neuroscience research suggests that the kind of emotional sensitivity Aron had in mind might be linked to specific variations in gene expression in the nervous system, notably genes related to production of the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine.

One gene variation, the short-short allele of the serotonin transporter 5-HTT, has long been associated with a vulnerability to depression and anxiety. Recent data indicate that the very same gene variant brings an array of cognitive benefits—including better, and more profitable, decision-making in gambling situations. Aron suspects the allele may be present in HSPs and could account for their tendency to assess risks thoroughly.
"It's hard to imagine this trait enduring in the gene pool if it led only to negative emotions like depression," Aron says. "The problematic outcomes are just easier to observe than more positive interactions with the environment."

Brain imaging studies suggest real differences in the brains of HSPs versus everyone else. Cortical areas linked to attention and processing perceptual data show higher activation in response to all kinds of stimuli. Further, the possibility of reward sparks an outsize response in the reward circuit, and fear-related regions are particularly stirred by threats.

In his own research on thin-boundaried people, Tufts' Ernest Hartmann has found a strong link to creativity that Aron believes applies to HSPs as well. Of hundreds of student artists and musicians he has studied, nearly all test positive on his thin-boundaries questionnaire. Many fewer do among those who are able to make a profession of the arts—suggesting that it takes more than practice to make it to Carnegie Hall.
A 2003 study reported in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that the brains of creative people appear to be far more open to incoming stimuli than those of the noncreative. During a simple task, they experience little latent inhibition—they do not screen out irrelevant data from consciousness and more of their brains are highly activated from moment to moment.

Their extreme responsiveness to all situations, Aron believes, makes HSPs prone to anxiety and depression in the face of a distressing situation. But it also makes life richer; sights, sounds, flavors, images of beauty are more vivid. It's as if HSPs alone see the world in high-def.

A Basis in Biology

Yet another facet of sensitivity is the focus of independent research by Michael Jawer. A decade ago, Jawer was an investigator for the Environmental Protection Agency looking into reports of sick building syndrome and preparing air-quality guidance for building owners. Why, he wanted to know, did only a handful of people complain about indoor environmental conditions?

"Some said that in everyday life they've been disabled by exposure to colognes, paints, pesticides, trace elements in the air," he says. "And some went on to tell me they'd been emotionally sensitive for many years. Perhaps the same factors that were disposing certain people to complain about their environment suggested a broader aspect of sensitivity than just the emotional kind."

When he surveyed people Aron had identified as HSPs, he found unusual susceptibility to an array of conditions long thought to have a psychosomatic component. Much more than others in the population, they suffered from migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue syndrome, allergies, and fibromyalgia. Jawer felt the findings point to wide-scale biological differences in HSPs.

"Take migraines," he says. "We know they're triggered by a number of things in the environment—sights, smells, even changes in the weather." Moods, too, can act as a catalyst: "Strong feelings, even ones people don't realize they have, can bring migraines on," says Jawer. He believes HSPs are unusually touchy to both emotional and tangible irritants—to mean-spirited comments as well as pollen or dander in the air.

Behind it all, says Orloff, is likely a hair-trigger flight-or-fight response. A lower threshold of activation of stress hormones would leave the body flooded with cortisol and adrenaline. Chronically elevated stress hormones are linked with a host of health problems, from heart disease to decreased bone density to impaired memory.

To Aron, the evidence adds up to a distinctive personality type. The HSP's touchy nervous system leads to a touchy temperament. Like the princess sensing the pea below her tower of mattresses, HSPs perceive the slightest sensory or emotional provocation, then respond with a flurry of brain activity that begets an outsize reaction—rumination, tears, histrionics, on one hand, or unbridled enthusiasm on the other. Their personalities may run the gamut from moody to dramatic—all the product of their unique biology.

 

Missing Men?

In crafting her questionnaire, Aron was determined to include only those questions men and women answered in equal proportions and calibrated it so that 20 percent of males and females registered as highly sensitive. But once she started administering the test to the general population, far fewer than 20 percent of males came up HSP-positive. Where did the guys go—or were they never there to begin with?

Aron insists that males and females are born highly sensitive in equal numbers—but some men grow up actively hiding it. "They don't want to identify as sensitive."

Kagan's "reactives," too, were male and female in equal measure—at 4 months of age. But "the male peer group is very harsh with shy, timid boys," he explains, and by young adulthood, the highly reactive males were very difficult to pick out from the non-reactive population.

The neural basis of sensitivity appears no different in men and women. But the resulting behaviors—tearing up in joy, getting upset by a ribbing, feeling overwhelmed at a concert or sporting event—may violate even contemporary Western standards of masculinity.HSP males may look effeminate to potential mates. (No, there's no evidence that HSP males are disproportionately homosexual.)

"In North America, in particular, we expect boys to be tough and to be risk-takers," says Ted Zeff, a San Francisco psychologist whose in-depth interviews with more than 30 highly sensitive men in five countries resulted in a book, The Strong, Sensitive Boy. "Boys are told to hide all emotions other than anger. This is especially hard on sensitive boys, who have to repress their natural tendencies."

New York's Jim Dailakis admits "I definitely hide my sensitivity from certain people. Wearing your heart completely on your sleeve leaves you open to ridicule."

Double-Edged Effects

Internalized by a highly sensitive child, ridicule can snowball into depression. Likewise, a "Nice job!" atop a book report might not seem like a game-changer, but to a sensitive child a little encouragement can have outsize effects, motivating a child to reproduce that behavior—say, by studying well for the next test. School and parenting practices can dramatically shape the development of highly sensitive children, who can thrive spectacularly in a mildly encouraging classroom or struggle endlessly in a slightly discouraging one, while a non-sensitive child would wind up about the same regardless of slight variations in the environment.

The possibility of opposite outcomes—downward spiral or rocketing success—underscores the double-edged nature of sensitivity. Neither flaw nor gift, it is, rather, an amplifier of an environment's effects. Sensitive people who happened to have troubled childhoods may wind up with high rates of anxiety and depression, but HSPs who were loved and encouraged as children can grow into well-adjusted adults.

"You Won't Make Me Sound Crazy, Will You?"

Fedor and Rothstein-Kramer both ask the same question, out of the blue, mid-interview. Connoisseurs of small slights, study partners who cannot focus with that stupid jackhammer roaring outside, HSPs are subject to a constant influx of criticism exhorting them to toughen up or to grow cojones. That message—that they're somehow unacceptable as they are—resonates with intensity.

Aron would like to see HSPs focus more on what they have to offer. They make compassionate friends who truly care about others; they channel beauty from the world into art and music; they notice things others miss. Ensconced in safe environments and steeled against the negativity of others, they can flourish.

HSPs inhabit a teeming world of vibrant colors, sharp smells, striking sounds, and powerful tugs at their emotions. "I am, and I always will be, extremely aware of my environment and the people within it," Fedor says. As CEO of a successful beauty company, she surrounds herself with supportive people. "I tried toughening up, rooting myself in taxing situations," she says. "Then I realized I was spending my time coping instead of thriving. Now I know that I can choose to respond or to let something go." For her, it's a purer way of savoring this piquant world. —Andrea Bartz

Tips for the Touchy

Highly sensitive? "You've probably gone through life assuming you're like the other 80 percent of people," Aron says. "The truth is, you need a whole different instruction manual." Here are a few adjustments you can make to sync your life with your mode of sensory processing.

• Designate downtime. Your brain works overtime processing input and soaking up others' moods, so it needs a chance to recover. "Limit stimulation when you can," Aron suggests. "Turn the radio off when you're driving. Use a sleep mask and earplugs at night." Meditation is also a powerful way to tamp down stress hormones. Orloff prescribes quick, three-minute meditations during the day: Sit quietly, put your hand over your heart, deepen your breathing, and focus on something beautiful—a picture of your child.

• Talk yourself calm. Sensitive people aren't doomed to spend life reeling from rejection. It's possible to rein in a response before it spirals down to depression. Fedor carries a checklist in her wallet and runs through it when she feels under attack: "Is this about me? What is the intent of the other person? Am I reacting because this brings out fear in me?" Similarly, Rothstein-Kramer asks herself, "How can I interpret this situation in a different way?" "Practice controlling your reactions," she says; "eventually a little dig won't throw you." 

• Change your interactions. Kindly but firmly cut off energy drains. Say your friend is midway through her umpteenth rant about her job. "You have to lovingly but matter-of-factly say, 'I see you're going through something; when you want to get into solutions, I'm here for you, but right now this is hard for me to listen to,'" Orloff explains. "Tone of voice is everything."

• Arm yourself. Sometimes, you'll be forced into a situation that sucks you dry—a conference you must endure for work, a business lunch with an insufferable kvetch. Protect yourself: "Visualize a shield around your body, keeping negative input out," Orloff says. 

• Rewrite history. Think back to the decisions you've regretted and the things you dislike about yourself: "Very often, they have to do with sensitivity," Aron points out. The surprise party where you wound up crying in your room and the promotion you turned down because it involved too much pressure make much more sense through the lens of your sensitivity. Acknowledge this.

Dealing with Delicate People

Since 20 percent of the population is highly sensitive, "you're probably working with or are even friends with one—you just didn't realize it," Aron says. Now that you know the hallmarks of this personality, adjust your behavior to make your interactions smoother.

• Skip the tips. HSPs are mighty sick of hearing, "You really shouldn't let it get to you" from well-meaning friends. They experience it as a put-down, a suggestion that they've done something wrong. Say something more reassuring—such as, that whatever situation is causing them stress will improve shortly.

• Modify your view. In a close relationship, you may discover you've been making wrong assumptions about your partner. You may hear things like "I never liked going to those sporting events or concerts," Aron warns. Forgo the temptation to respond with grief or anger. Just accept it. 

• Respect their space. A common mistake HSPs' loved ones make: hovering. "They promise their partner an hour of recharge time," Orloff says, "and then they hang around waiting for you to come out." Better to tell them, "Fine, go replenish, I'll be out mowing the lawn"—and do it.

We South Paws

Currently 90% of the world wide population is right-handed. Over the years I've learned that animals are equally right and left-pawed, however, it is only humans who demonstrate a gaping difference. Generalized, basic knowledge, says that, left-handed folks function with a dominant right hemisphere brain. The right side of the brain is said to be the source of dreams, art, music, and feeling. Lefties are often thought to excel in areas of art and mathematics, while right-handed individuals are supposedly superior in areas of language and speech. Most of us know this.

A recent New York Times article, clarifies that, "for right-handed people, language activity is predominantly on the left side. Many left-handers also have left-side language dominance, but a significant number have language either more evenly distributed in both hemispheres or else predominantly on the right side of the brain." I think it's safe to say that one's environment and intelligence level can have an impact on one's brain functioning.

I am left-handed and I do not consider myself to be particularly artistic. I write poetry and I dance, but cannot draw, paint, or sculpt. I have never had any success with math, despite the use of equip math tutors in my Jr. High and High School years. Since then, I have not developed other artistic skills although I am drawn to artistic people and art itself. Music, film, paintings, sculpture and yes poetry and dance, are things that I am drawn to.

In my adulthood I have come across many who actually marvel at the fact that I am left-handed and have voiced that they too wished they were left-handed. I do not consider left handedness to signify uniqueness other than the fact that most of the world is right-handed and therefore I stand out. I can't even begin to tell you how often I've heard the words, "Oh, you're left-handed?" I'm sure most left-handers can tell you the same.

And really, being left-handed may not be so grand. According to International Children's Education, researchers have explored the idea that left-handedness is due to an abnormality in the brain. It is suggested that a neural defect, caused by a diminished blood supply to the left hemisphere occurs during fetal growth.
Research has suggested that left-handed individuals are more likely to be develop schizophrenia, alcoholism, dyslexia, Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis and mental disabilities. Left-handers supposedly die nine years earlier than the average Joe and Jane.

According to a new book entitled, The Puzzle of Left Handedness, the on going rumor that left-handers die early is most likely a myth. Author Rik Smits, asserts that if being left handed was truly a death sentence, doctors and patients alike would fear left-handedness as if it were a real affliction.

It was psychologist Sanley Coren and his 1992 book The Left Hander Syndrome, that insisted that lefties die early. I've read multiple science based articles which state that left handed people do indeed die early and many which say that this is not so. According to Coren's findings, lefties are at a disadvantage, largely due to the tribulations of existing within a right-handed world. Although it is a myth that left-handed people are clumsy, there is some data which suggests that left-handers are at risk due to the fact that we all function in a world which favors the right hand.

I grew up with right-handed scissors, right-handed notebooks, right-handed school desk tables, and right-handed students. There are conflicting studies which snowball on top of this by suggesting that it's not just the mechanics of a right-handed environment that gets lefties into trouble. There may be a difference in thought patterns that set off left-handers. The bottom line is that scientists have not arrived at any concrete conclusions.

In addition to concerning neurobiological implications there is also the issue of stigma. There are plenty of left-handed children who start out feeling like outcasts. Some cultures frown upon left-handed sons and daughters and some are forced to write with their right hands. I am lucky enough that I never felt the effects of stigma. Even so, I did feel different. One can't help but notice the array of right handed folks in comparison to the left-handed.

Ask almost any lefty and they will most likely tell you that at some point or another they have researched famous individuals or individuals of note who are also left-handed. It is a vain attempt at feeling less abnormal. In the past I too have sought out such a list, however, I have never taken it too seriously. There are indeed public figures whom I admire that are also left-handed, but there are also some whom I do not admire who are left-handed as well.

In the end left handedness remains mysterious. The notion that left-handers may die early does unnerves me but I am not investing too much into it. I suppose, instead of spending so much time in a state of nervousness, all we can do as a left-handed minority is wait for more definitive data. Oh yeah - and we can live our lives to the fullest. We can do that too.

Can You Trust Your Johnson?

The below article was posted on October 20th, 2011 at The Good Men Project. I have decided to post it here word for word as it is truly an insightful article.
 
Can You Trust Your Johnson? By Gary Wilson & Marnia Robinson

Editor’s Note: The blocked quotations, unless otherwise cited, were taken from the comments sections of posts and message board conversations where men were talking about sex.

Once upon a time, men could trust their penises to tell them everything they needed to know about their sexual orientation. Even recently, behavioral neuroscientist Paul Vasey confidently opined, “Sexual orientation is what you think about when you’re masturbating.”

Really? What if porn, to which you once happily fapped, no longer does the job? Could this be why viewers who would never harm others are viewing violent porn? Why gay porn viewers are feeling baffled by their tastes for straight rape porn or lesbian porn? Why straight men are bewildered by their tastes for transsexual or gay porn?
Psychiatrist Norman Doidge explains in The Brain That Changes Itself:

The content of what [patients] found exciting changed as the Web sites introduced themes and scripts that altered their brains without their awareness. Because plasticity is competitive, the brain maps for new, exciting images increased at the expense of what had previously attracted them.

Do a viewer’s most recent porn tastes reveal his “deepest urges and most uninhibited thoughts,” as Ogas and Gaddam claim? Does his sexual orientation change along with what he views? Or does cyberporn manufacture superficial tastes, sometimes unrelated to sexual orientation? Most likely the latter.

 ♦◊♦

Porn Has Changed … A Lot
It’s common for people to say, often casually, that they are “addicted” to the Internet, to email, video gaming, Facebook, iPhones, or evenInternet porn . Even though the sensory input from such multimedia is nothing new, these activities are, in fact, physiologically, potentially addictive. Surfing the net, especially for porn, incorporates activities that spike dopamine levels and keep the reward circuit buzzing: seeking sexy material, the anticipation as each page loads, having novelty on demand, surprising and shocking visuals.

Obviously, a once-a-month Playboy or an 1980s VHS tape cannot compare to using three high definition screens, with nine windows open, to search for new scenes, genres, whatever, until you find just the right shot to take you home. After a five-minute breather you can search via Google for something you’ve never seen, so you can whack away once more. Unlike static porn of the past, today’sInternet porn is so stimulating that, in some brains, it can gradually produce addiction-related changes.

No wonder a guy’s brain can grow numb and stop responding to conventional sexual cues. Once vanilla porn is no longer doing it for him, his sexual tastes may prove surprisingly fluid. When his current cyberporn genre doesn’t arouse him, does he think, “Oh, that’s a sign that my brain needs a time-out to return to normal sensitivity—why don’t I lay off the porn?”

No. He unthinkingly does something that none of his ancestors had the option of doing (but would have done too). Out with the old and in with the new, because novelty triggers the surge of dopamine he needs to become aroused. He clicks around the Web until he hits something that engorges his penis. A novel pornstar may be sufficient, but perhaps after his fourth session of the day, he needs an added jolt of shock or anxiety to goose his dopamine and light a fire under his brain’s sluggish reward circuitry.

For some guys this innocent reflex can have one or both of the following undesired effects:

1. Rewiring: The user inadvertently carves new arousal pathways into his limbic system. As researcher Jim Pfaus points out, “the mating brain is opportunistic.” It’s not strictly bound by intrinsic wiring, but rather it adapts to promising sexual cues. This is especially true during adolescence, when the brain is primed for wiring up such cues.

Thanks to evolution, fertilization is the brain’s top priority, so—even if a porn user would prefer to forget what he just saw—his brain carefully wires up all associations that led to his orgasm. It wants him to be able to “fertilize” this target again in the future. With enthusiastic use, a new brain pathway can become a “pathway of choice,” irrespective of fundamental inclinations. In short, nerve cells that fire together wire together—especially if they produce a “bigger ‘n’ better” orgasm.

2. Desensitization: “Two hours edging to porn? That’s what Google is for.” “Two ejaculations since dinner? Let me fire up my old laptop so I can watch more windows on an additional screen.” Unlike other mammals, a guy can override his natural limits using ever-novel porn.‏

Over time, a user’s brain can physically change. Signs of fundamental brain alterations (as contrasted with short-lived habituation) may include: chronically weakened impulse control, craving spikes in response to cues one associates with porn use, and decreased sexual responsiveness. He’s no longer registering pleasure normally; his desensitized brain is desperate for the dopamine hits from stimulation. To climax, he needs to watch for longer or move on to new material.

Small wonder that, as users slide along the porn spectrum in search of the next big “O,” they can end up climaxing to visuals that are unnerving—or even illegal:

Anthony: I started looking at porn, on a regular basis, about five years ago. First there were the beautiful women, then the hardcore porn, then the weird insertions, then the transvestites, then critters, then the hermaphrodites, then the teen porn, then the younger models and now prison (soon to go). As the years passed I became less and less interested in masturbating and more and more interested in “novelty” searching. Looking back, I just don’t see how I failed to recognize that I had a problem.

Sexual Orientation vs. Synthetic Sexual Tastes
Obviously, a user who climbs aboard the Internet porn train can end up getting off at stops that were once inconceivable. Perhaps the most bewildering is, “Help! My penis is only responding to erotica I associate with someone else’s sexual orientation.”

Ryan: I seriously thought I was turning gay. My obsessive thoughts about this issue were so strong that I was contemplating taking a dive off the nearest high-rise. I felt so depressed. I knew I loved girls and I couldn’t love another dude, but why did I have ED? Why did I now need transsexual/gay stuff to get off? It’s like I made a mistake that I cannot correct anymore. I want to go back to my old days when I was only turned on by the female body.

Brains desperate for sensation can find anxiety-producing material particularly arousing. Such emotions release extra dopamine (and norepinephrine) in the brain. In essence, they are a response to risk-taking.
Some of today’s cyberporn users develop obsessive-compulsive patterns around shocking porn. For example, a user may keep testing to see if a particular porn genre is arousing—because he happens to find that prospect horrifying (and exciting). Then he masturbates to relieve the anxiety produced. He is like a person who can’t stop checking to see if the stove is turned off. Interestingly, addiction and OCD produce similar anomalies in the brain’s reward circuitry. Satisfaction becomes more elusive and drives continued unwanted activity.

Said one 21-year-old with a girlfriend, whose anxiety began three months earlier when he got an erection from watching a man’s penis in a video:

Now, I constantly feel the need to keep checking by using porn to prove that I’m still straight. I use any available moment to PMO to women, sometimes even in the same room as my girlfriend as she sleeps! This behaviour really upsets me but I find I can’t help it. It offers comfort for about 10 minutes before the doubt kicks in again.

Porn makers know how compelling this orientation-anxiety can be, and consider transsexual porn a “straight porn specialty.” When interviewed, the operator of several transsexual porn sites said, “My main audience, and the audience for most [transsexual] porn, are straight dudes. That’s how it’s always been. I will say that all of the visitors to transsexual sites are straight.”

“Who am I?”
If a gay viewer starts climaxing to straight porn, or vice versa, is he discovering his “true sexual orientation?” Probably not. But brains are plastic and, users can inadvertently wire new stimuli to their erections, just as Pavlov’s dogs learned to salivate to the bell. In both situations, dopamine activation (anticipation) prompts autonomic effects downstream. The brain’s primitive reward circuitry isn’t aware that the bell isn’t food, or that “new” porn isn’t “my” porn. Its axiom is simply, “Dopamine good.”

Fortunately Ryan can, with patience and self-discipline, once again unwire his unwanted associations. (More in a moment.) Meanwhile, he may need to beware of well-meaning folks who try to tell him his changing tastes reveal buried clues about his true sexual orientation. Maybe they do; maybe they are totally devoid of significance. Said one 22-year old:

During middle school and high school I watched porn for hours. After high school I dated a girl I really liked, but I didn’t feel as much arousal around her as I felt when watching porn. In college I got confused about sexuality because I wasn’t feeling as much sexual attraction as other people. I was also turned on by gay porn and thought maybe I had latent homosexuality. My senior year I went to sexuality counseling and a coming-out support group for a quarter. Neither brought me closer to understanding sexual orientation or attraction. Yes, I got turned on by some gay porn, but I didn’t feel attraction to, or fantasize about, guys. The gay guys that I met seemed much more certain of their orientation. After a while I wasn’t sure I belonged there. I’ve started feeling more sexual attraction around women now that I’ve cut down on porn and masturbation.

Or consider Ryan again. When he began using porn, all he thought about was girls. He watched lesbian porn because he didn’t want to watch men having sex. Only after years of continuous porn escalation did he began to doubt his orientation. Recovering porn users on our forum often report developing, and discarding, multiple “tastes” as their addictions worsen. It’s evident that these mutually exclusive, transient tastes cannot all reflect buried sexual-orientation clues—if indeed any of them do.

For example, how could a taste for “transsexual porn” reflect a sexual orientation? Isn’t this evolutionary impossibility more likely to be appealing simply because it’s a cornucopia of compelling sexual cues (breasts, erect penis, arousing acts), lit with extra dopamine for the viewer who finds it exotic or anxiety-producing?
A radical change in porn tastes is likely to be little more than a sign of progressive brain desensitization. In other words, Ryan can’t be sure of much until he stops climaxing to the unwanted stimuli and returns his brain to normal sensitivity. This can take months.

A Better Test (Than Erections) for Sexual Orientation
A raging Internet porn addiction appears to operate independently of sexual orientation. However, the myth that “my sexual orientation is determined by what I masturbate to” is so powerful that many of today’s porn users do not realize that their random tastes are a function of overstimulation leading to tolerance, and therefore reversible.

Fortunately, research is catching up with reality. For example, scientists are learning that prediction of fundamental sexual orientation isn’t as simple as they once assumed. As Sexual Fluidity author Lisa Diamond says, “Sexual arousal … is only one element of sexual orientation and identity.”
So if “visuals + erection” can mislead, how do you recognize your sexual orientation? Obviously, whatever you climaxed to when you first started masturbating is a useful clue (assuming earlier childhood events haven’t distorted it).

Yet a more fundamental test of sexual attraction (or aversion) is: with whom do you want to do deep kissing?
Attraction and aversion are most powerfully displayed in the appeal of (or aversion to) engaging in intimate sexual activities that involve touch, body orifices, and body fluids such as saliva, vagina fluids, or ejaculate. Men are generally much more “turned on” by the smells, orifices, and fluids of one sex than the other.
In fact, one expert we interviewed noted that men can have profound aversion to these characteristics in other men—even to the point of nausea and vomiting (perhaps after the thrill of the “forbidden” or the effects of alcohol have passed). Said Ryan:

I ALWAYS do not want to kiss a guy. For some reason, a guy’s saliva would seem so nasty, and a girl’s is just so perfect. For me, the thought of a guy’s saliva is … disgusting, almost seems germ-filled. A gal’s saliva seems almost sweet to me.

Unwiring Plastic Changes
As a porn user’s addiction progresses, masturbation habits may tell him very little about his actual orientation. However, guys on our forum have discovered that if they (1) give their brains a rest from porn and porn fantasy (and ideally masturbation and orgasm), and (2) replace their former habits with socializing, exercise, meditation, and other comforting activities, they can start to see changes in their sexual tastes surprisingly quickly. Here’s Ryan’s report after only a month:

I spent the last year of high school jacking off to Internet porn compulsively, and escalated to gay porn several months ago. I found it disturbing to watch; it fueled my OCD and subsequent depression.

Now I’m feeling almost like a new person. I’ve been through nearly 4 weeks of hell, and had to get my antidepressants adjusted. I’ve been biking daily and interacting with others at college. But I do not get aroused at gay porn anymore. It’s like I have gotten rid of those circuits. The thought of lesbian porn is once again arousing. I am also slowly starting to get my libido back. It’s not over yet, but I have conquered part of it.

I have literally been on forums with thousands of pages of posts by people who were dealing with desensitization and escalation to weird stuff. I’m really unhappy when people tell others that what they masturbate to is “what they are.” Maybe that was true 20-30 years ago, but it is not anymore.

Is his brain already unwiring or is its dopamine signaling improving (reversing desensitization), or both? It seems that as users resist climaxing to a particular type of porn, fantasizing about it, thinking about it and worrying about it, the related brain pathways physically weaken from disuse. As neuroscientists say, when nerve cells fire apart, wires depart.

As the abandoned pathway stops producing a dopamine payoff, the brain—ever eager to go through the motions of reproduction—dusts off and fires up earlier brain circuits. Of course, if an addiction has progressed to the point where someone cannot climax without extreme porn, quitting will not be easy. He will need a lot of support. Severe withdrawal symptoms are common, but worth it for many users:

Mike: Relapsed at day 23. Already I can see that if I do quit this addiction, I will be completely able to have healthy sex with women. Along with my binge came a silver lining: those first few times masturbating were very exciting, and it was to very softcore porn. My sexual tastes had begun to normalize. Very reassuring. This vanilla stuff wouldn’t even have been a blip on my radar four weeks ago, but now it drove me wild. Of course, as the binge continued I progressed onto more extreme material, again making all too clear how the addiction screws with my tastes. I had to escalate to more extreme material to get that same rush.

Shawn: It’s hard to believe that a year ago, the main thing that got me off was transsexual porn. Arousal for real women has boosted to a level I’d forgotten during years of porn viewing. I’m now seeing just how sensitive I am without masturbation to porn. My erections are rock hard, and they feel great. I love that even the lightest touch from my girlfriend makes me respond like crazy!

We humans may want to be more farsighted and selective about the sexual cues to which we wire our orgasms. Apparently a primitive, subconscious, and very persuasive part of our brains doesn’t much care.

purple velvet

"Profound" sounds like something being dropped down a flight of velvet stairs

From a website about Synesthesia.

Proof I've Got Synesthesia

Synesthesia: A Film by Jonathan Fowler

Ever since I can remember I have associated colors with numbers, letters, words, days of the week and months of the year. I never questioned it until recently. I now have a name for it. Synesthesia. More specifically Grapheme Color Synesthesia.


Synesthesia: A Documentary by Jonathan Fowler

Boing Boing presents a remix of "Synesthesia," a documentary directed by Jonathan Fowler (jonathan-fowler.com) about people whose senses blend, or mix. For instance: a synesthete might see colors when listening to music, or taste flavors when hearing a spoken word.

In this documentary, Dr. David Eagleman of Baylor College of Medicine explains this condition, and four synesthetes explain how they perceive the world.

The full-length version of this film was produced with support from The Research Channel (researchchannel.org), and is available for viewing on their website: http://tinyurl.com/lpluak

CREDITS: Directed & Produced by Jonathan Fowler. Cinematography by Rex Jones & Jonathan Fowler. Music by Moby & Olis.

SPEAKERS:
* David Eagleman, Ph.D., neuroscientist, Baylor College of Medicine
* Marilynn Masten, synesthete
* Julia Cochran, synesthete
* Tiffany Gill, synesthete
* Sean Day, synesthete

If you yourself think you may have Synesthesia, I highly reccomend that you visit http://synesthete.org. Here you can take a battery test which will assist you in determining if you have Synesthesia. Simply click, "Not Sure If You Are Synesthetic" on the right hand side of the page.

"Synesthesia" by Terri Timely

"Synesthesia" by Terri Timely

Ever since I can remember I have associated colors with numbers, letters, days of the week, and months of the year. Just recently I took a battery test which assists in determining whether one has Synesthesia and which type.

To participate in the battery yourself visit http://synesthete.org and click on "Not Sure If You Are Synesthetic" on the right hand side of the page.

Synesthesia. Apparently I Have It.

1 is Red, 2 is Light Blue, 3 is Light Pink, 4 is Light Purple, 5 is Light Green, 6 is Red, 7 is Yellow, 8 is Orange, 9 is Red, 10 is Black, 11 is White.

Artist Kerry Hirth paints from the perspective of her condition of Synesthsia.

I never thought the fact that I associate numbers with colors was an odd concept. Just yesterday I was speaking to a friend about this and she exclaimed, "ooooo, that number/color association has a name!" I looked it up and found that there is a neurological condition called Synesthesia. 

I've learned that there are various forms of Synesthesia and the type that connects numbers and colors (and/or letters) is called Grapheme Color Synesthesia.

Many who experience Synesthesia are left handed women. I am a left handed woman.

There are various tests and batteries that can assist in determining if a person has Synesthesia. The Stroop is a popular test which presents different words in different colors. For example the word Blue may be presented in the color (pink) Blue. The individual taking the test must read the words in the colors they are presented. The time in which it takes the participant to answer which color it is written in, is recorded. Those with Synesthesia will take longer answering than non-Synesthetics.

According to a 2007 article from Associated Content,  "One theory suggests that, people who have Synesthesia just retain color memories from childhood. An example would be colorful alphabetical or numerical magnets that the child had played with. This theory, however, does not explain all aspects of the condition.(Ramachandran, 2005)" 

I learned that for some with Synesthesia, days of the week have color. It rang a bell! As a child I used to believe that days of week were associated with color. I hadn't remembered this in so long!

Monday is Red, Tuesday is Yellow, Wednesday is Green, Thursday is Purple, Friday is White, Saturday is Pink, Sunday is Blue.

It's interesting how this just all came back to me in a flash!

In rare cases, when hearing a specific note one will develop a specific taste their mouth. Another rare form is   where a person  can taste food while hearing specific musical notes. Fascinating.

 

When I look at a word I do not consistently see color. However, when I see certain words I can come up with a color if I choose to pause and ask myself what color I think it should be. The specified color then pops up pretty quickly in my mind. For the purpose of this post I went to a random website and looked at specific words and asked myself what colors I could associate to with the word I was staring at. Here are a few.

Phenomena is Black
Angela is Green
Film is Blue 
About is Red 
Scientist is Yellow 

I noticed that I could not associate a color with any and every word. But some colors jumped out at me immediately.

What I experience, does not interfere with my daily life. When I read I am not noticing colors, when I see signs I do not notice colors, when I see colors I do not think of certain words. Because of this I would have assumed that I only possessed tendencies rather than actually Synesthesia.
 
I decided to investigate further and came across a website which offered a lengthy testing battery for the condition of Synesthesia.

To visit this website and take the test for yourself, visit, http://synesthete.org.  

The results conclude that I have Grapheme Color Synesthesia. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I feel a little doubtful but regardless there is no major concern here. These associations with words, numbers and colors have no negative bearing on my life.

The Battery consists of four tests and one questionnaire. The first test is the Grapheme Color Picker Test. Here I was asked to identify a color which I associate with a letter or number. When a letter or number appeared on the screen a color popped up and I had a option of changing the color and picking a shade of that color. The same letters and numbers showed up repeatedly in random order.

I showed a score of 1.59. A score below 1.0 is ranked as synesthetic. Non-synethetes asked to use memory or free association typically score in the range of a 2.0. A perfect score of 0.0 would mean that there was no difference in the colors selected on each successive presentation of the same letter. So it appears that for this test I landed somewhere in the middle.

The second test was the Speed Congruency Test. My results for this test was 88.89%. An accuracy percentage of right answers in the range of 85-100 typically indicates synesthetic association between the graphemes and colors. Those below 85% typically rule out synesthesia. So, for this test I fit the Synesthetic category.

The third test was the Weekly Color Picker Test. Here I was asked to associate a color with a day of the week. The days appeared repeatedly and in random order. I scored 0.51. A score below 1.0 is ranked as synesthetic. Non-synethetes asked to use memory or free association typically score in the range of a 2.0. A perfect score of 0.0 would mean that there was no difference in the colors selected on each successive presentation of the same letter. Here to I fit the Synesthetic category.

The fourth test was the Monthly Color Picker Test. Here I  was asked to associate a color with a month and the months were repeated in random order. I scored a 0.8. A score below 1.0 is ranked as synesthetic. Non-synethetes asked to use memory or free association typically score in the range of a 2.0. A perfect score of 0.0 would mean that there was no difference in the colors selected on each successive presentation of the same letter. Again, I fit the category for Synesthetic category.

The combination of the tests and questionnaire resulted in a diagnosis of Grapheme Color Synesthesia.

For more information on the Synesthesia Battery and the details of how it is scored, please refer to David M. Eagleman, Arielle D. Kagan, Stephanie S. Nelson, Deepak Sagaram, Anand K. Sarma. A standardized test battery for the study of Synesthesia. Journal of Neuroscience Methods, 2007 Jan 15;159(1):139-145.
 
So, in the end what does this mean for me? Nuttin'! It's interesting of course but the only thing that has changed in my life is that now I have a name for what I experience.

Resources

To take the battery yourself visit http://synesthete.org and click on the tab that says, "Not Sure If You Are Synesthetic". It is located on the right hand side of the page.

For more information about Synesthesia visit The American Synesthesia Association.