Angry Child-Free Groups vs. Those Of Us Who Love Children But Simply Do Want Any Of Our Own

Mother and Child by Gustav Klimt 1905

I recently have been exposed to a growing group of people who label themselves "Child Free". In other words these are people who do not wish to have children. As I myself do not wish to have children I thought I'd read up on a few blogs and websites.

To my disgust I found that many of these sites actually seem to very much dislike children in general. I found one site that posted angered rants about how children are nothing more than a nuisance.

One site posted various signs, one of which read, "Pets Welcome. Children Must Be On A Leash".


(ok, I admit I actually found this one kind of funny)

A lot of feedback was received from on people who seemed to share the sentiment that children have no place.

Today I read about an author named Corinne Maier. She is a 45 year old French psychotherapist whose book No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not to Have Children is due to be released in the U.S. this week. The publication apparently caused an uproar when it released in France last year.

I decided to look the book up on Amazon.com and found that enclosed are titles such as "The Desire For Children: A Silly Idea", "Kids Are A Treasure And Will Cost You One", and "Kids Are Conformists." Furthermore Maier suggests, “If you really want to be host to a parasite, get a gigolo.” Does this sound like contempt or does this sound like contempt?

Some sites have gone a different route by attempting to bring forth scientific evidence that supports having fewer children. LiveScience.com states that, "a study from statisticians at Oregon State University which shows that in the United States each child ultimately adds about 9,400 metric tons of carbon emissions to the average parent's carbon legacy -- about 5.7 times the average US resident's emissions over their lifetime." So the message is that if you really want to go green in addition to recycling or driving a high fuel efficiency car, having less or no children is a better form of eco-activism.

Initially I was hoping to learn more about the opinions and lives of others who have chosen not to raise children. So far, what I've found has been incredibly disappointing.

I think it's great if individuals who do not want children will not allow themselves to feel the pressures or shame from the disappointed wagging fingers of those who insist having children is the only way to find fulfillment. However, I am disappointed to find that there is a large population who responds quite arrogantly and aggressively to the fact that there are indeed many out there who find great joy in giving a child the opportunity to life and love.

So, why don't I want children you make wonder? I have posted about this topic in the past. But to recap briefly..
The desire to have children simply isn't there. That "natural" tug or pull to have them doesn't exist in me. While I do like children and have enjoyed working with kids of various ages in the past I simply do not wish to have any of my own.

I also wish to have my free time be my own. I want to focus on giving to others in different ways. As a social worker I give in that capacity and if I am to again have a future partner I will give to him. Of course I must continue to learn to love and nurture myself. I find self love while maintaining humility and balance to be quite the challenging journey.

While I do not respect a child-free movement that disrespects the existence of a child or the love that one might have for a child, I do feel positive about one shedding the shame that is sometimes bestowed upon those who do not want children of their own.

Perhaps the word "shame" seems a bit much to some but I do think that there is a stigma against women in particular who do not desire children. As mentioned in a previous blog on this topic, it is my belief that our society deems childcare as a womens work. It is often deemed something that comes with the territory of being female.

Well, it seems that the choice to be child-free is on the rise. According to an article by McCleans.Ca, "The U.S. National Center of Health Statistics reports that the number of American women of childbearing age who define themselves as “child-free” rose sharply in the past generation: 6.2 per cent of women in 2002 between the ages of 15 and 44 reported that they don’t expect to have children in their lifetime, up from 4.9 per cent in 1982."

I do not know how vast the angered Child-Free groups are and can only hope that they do not end up increasing the stigma of us more accepting folks who do love children but do not want any of their own.