Field Trip! Hi Ho Hi Ho Off to the Gyno We Go!

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So, I've been thinking. It might actually be a good idea for heterosexual women to bring along their boyfriends/husbands into the exam room at the gynecologist's office. I'm not sure if this is even allowed but if it is I'd want my partner to witness the exam at least once.

I am a woman who has a love/hate relationship with my vagina. If you've ever read The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler you know that there are many women who also experience a love/hate relationship with their own bodies. And sometimes it's a love/love experience and sometimes a hate/hate.

I've often questioned why women or men would want to enter the field of gynecology. Ultimately I am grateful for these individuals even though the process of a vaginal examination is not pleasant.

I'd like a partner to witness the experience. The vulnerable feeling of being naked in a thin paper gown, the "scoot down scoot down" uttered from the gynecologist, the feeling of scraping during the pap smear,

the cold duck lips (speculum). My doctor likes to put her finger in my anus for good measure.

What about the breast exam? For some reason I find the breast exam quite comforting. I'm not sure what that says about me but it's not all that bad. The breast exam is rather quick and as vulnerable as I feel there is something nice about the trust a woman must have in order to have a doctor examine her in that way. I have only had female doctors so for me it's easier to trust a woman touching me in that way.

Ok, back to the difficult parts. What about the bright lights above? What about the part when the doctor puts pressure on your ovaries which makes you feel like you need to pee?

I'll never forget the moment when my gynecologist had her fingers inside me and looked over me and said, "are you experiencing any discomfort?" I must have given her a strange look because she then said, "besides what I'm already doing?" I found it humorous. Who knew I could find humor on an exam table.

So, why would I want male partners to be a part of this difficult exam? I think it'd be important for men to see what we go through. I think it's important for men to know the anatomy they seem so eager to climb inside of. I think it's important for men and women to know what are "down theres" consist of.

I'm someone who thinks it's important to discuss sex before having it (I'm also someone who needs to be in love before having sex). Not only do I think it's important for two to discuss what sex means to the other but I think it's important to discuss how each connects or does not connect to their bodies.

I think a lot of us feel somewhat vulnerable when we go to the doctor. Our level of anxiety often depends on why we are visiting the doctor in the first place. In the case of vaginal exams I think it'd be great for men to see what goes on inside of it and why it's important to keep ourselves healthy.

We are not taught to embrace our vaginas or penises. We are not taught to understand our genetalia. From a young age we are often taught that our genetalia is dirty and we give it silly names like "wee wee" or "pee pee". As we get older we give genetalia crude names like "dick" or "pussy" in order to some how feel comfortable. We engage in sexual activity with our genetalia but we often don't really connect. It's easier for some to engage in sex acts when they are sexually aroused. Sometimes feelings of vulnerabilty are forfeited when people really want sex. But how can we really go on this way?

So, yes lets take our partners on a field trip off to the gyno office! Let us understand that our bodily parts are beautiful, ugly, functioning, wanting, giving things.