Sunday, July 31, 2011

Men Who Lust After Much Younger Women

I just read an interesting article about older men interested in much younger women. The article was written by gender studies professor Hugo Schwyzer,a weekly columnist at The Good Men Project. His recent post, Is It Natural For Older Men To Lust After Young Women?, offers some good insight into the topic.

"Since Hef published his first Playboy magazine in 1953, we’ve raised three generations of men to believe that women peak in desirability somewhere between 18 and 24. For many men, that peak starts much earlier. Ask a 17-year-old how often she’s been leered at (or worse) by a much older man.
For too many men, the term 'jailbait' isn’t a warning. It’s an enticement."

Schwyzer hits it right on the head. Pornographic magazines, film, and mainstream magazines, film and other forms of media tell us that not only is youth important but it is vital. Not only does the media spew these messages but these views are largely aimed towards women rather than men.

There is a stereotype that aging men can become increasingly more attractive as they age but women are lucky if they can "age gracefully." I can't tell you how often I have heard women my age drool over older film stars such as, Harrison Ford, Clint Eastwood, Robert Redford and others. Women on the other hand, get comments like, "She looks good for her age."

Although, I have met women who lust after older men, I have NEVER met a woman who lusts after much younger men or boys. I have however, met adult men who make crude comments about 16 year old girls.

Schywzer addresses this issue as well.

"Spare me the arguments from biology or evolutionary psychology, the ones that excuse predatory old guys from staring at 'young firm flesh' because that flesh belongs to a woman near the peak of her fertility. The great lengths to which countless men go to avoid fatherhood suggests that the continued evolutionary imperative to 'spread one’s seed' is oversold to the point of being illusory."

It's frustrating to know that there is an abundance of men who are invested in the theory that men just can't help themselves, and it is "natural" for adult men who want much younger females. Men who have no conscience (or very little conscience) about this issue, are most likely willing to embrace, and hide behind the theory that men cannot help themselves. It's as if the theory excuses them.

Schwyzer says it beautifully when he asserts, "Part of being a good man is matching your language to your life, matching your desires and your values."

A thinking man may take the time out of his day to consider why he is so interested in significantly younger women. If there is some guilt involved, I'd encourage men to not dismiss that. Unfortunately, so much of the influences of patriarchy, have affected men and women from a very young age so that we grow up thinking that what may not be natural, certainly is.

Let's not high-five men for checking out significantly younger women. Let's not glorify them as if oogling or dating young women makes any man more of a man.


Every now and then I become intrigued with a particular color. For the longest time I only surrounded myself with blacks and greys, but as I age, I am increasingly interested in color. At the moment I have fallen in love with anything mint.

I have been checking in with a blog called Oh Gracie Pie. Miss Gracie often posts images of interior design. I am all about making a home a refuge and the way a place is decorated can impact the atmosphere and the level of comfortability. 

A recent Oh Gracie Pie post offered up the below image.

Minty! How incredibly calm. I'd love to sip tea in a kitchen like this, while engaged in a conversation with a loved one. It is my belief that home...whatever home is..should be a place of serenity. If at all possible. If financial means allow, if lack of financial means allow, I think it is helpful to exist in an environment that helps. A place that helps you in one way or another. A place that makes you grateful to have it.

I love the idea of a chandelier in the kitchen and the white dishware that compliments the mint. The black knobs offer a striking accent and the steel sink and dishwasher offer a modern look. I know nothing about interior design but I am loving what I'm seeing.

Boy I Am: Documentary and After Thoughts

I follow a blog called Living Transgender in American Society Today. The author of the blog mentioned a documentary called Boy I Am. I am always open to learn more about transgender identity and this documentary was eye opening. The film focuses on FTM (female to male) individuals.

The documentary is set in New York and follows the stories of three transitioning FTM males. In the film 22 year old Nicco, 29 year old Norie and 22 year old Keegan, speak of their experiences as FTM men and their desire for support from their families, friends, partners and LGBTQI communities. The film also features voices of activists, theorists, doctors and lesbian individuals.

The film covered a variety of aspects. All three young men spoke about the financial aspect of receiveing top surgery (removal of breast tissue). All three men had bound their breasts with ACE bandages and sports bras, and they each expressed how that felt for them. Keegan mentioned that it at times felt liberating to see a flat chest but through the duration of the day the binding became extremely painful. He also expresses the view that there is a class factor when it comes to surgery as the surgery is very expensive.

There is also mention of how hormone treaments are available on the streets and can be purchased illegally. Infected needles can result in HIV/AIDS.

Norie being bound by his girlfriend

During the film there was a discussion about T (testosterone) and if some FTM individuals decide to use it too early in life. Early in the film Keegan reports that he thinks he passes as a boy and others treat him as such but when he speaks his voice does not sound like a sterotypical male. He explained how those he may be speaking to appear to be confused or perhaps may even feel embarassed and apologetic as they realize he is a biological female.

Nicco Injecting T

Keegan went onto say that he didn't feel like he needed to use T and he felt comfortable as he was. He didn't come from the idea that if he didn't use T that he would some how be less of a man.

Later in the film 15 months had passed and Keegan's voice was much deeper. He reported that he had been using T for 8 months at that point. He said that he began using T "because of no apparent reason and that felt really good." He explained that it wasn't as if he was jotting down the pros and cons, but rather, he says. "I just calmed myself and when the time or a time came, I decided it was something I really wanted to do."

Norie talks about how top surgery gave him more confidence and that he feels he'll be more assertive and involved.

An interesting part of Norie's story is that his girlfriend is featured and she gives insight to her side of things. She talks about how there is a part of Norie that she feels that she has lost and that she misses.

All three young men discussed how trans individuals aren't always invluded in the LGBTQI community. That there is this thought that comes from lesbian women especially, that trans men feel that they are so butch that they may as well go all the way. That they are so unhappy with being a butch female that they decide they want to be male..and that it's trendy to do so. These theories are not in keeping with the feminism that speaks to self-determination and personal autonomy.

Keegan spoke earnestly about how he does not fit into a box and resents that there are certain ideas as to what "butch" is and what a "man" is.

In the film Judith “Jack” Halberstam, a gender studies professor from The University of Southern California offered the opinion that, "The FTM feminism debate is still about a deep suspicion of masculinity within feminism and it gets played our not only in relationship to trans but in relationship to butchness as well."

The professor goes on to say, "the problem on the trans end to my mind is sort of a rigid identity politics that gets played out. The problem on the feminism end is that there is still a deep misunderstanding of what the meaning of masculinity in relationship to non-male bodies might be."

Quotes are displayed throughout the film and one in particular stood out for me. The quote is from author Hanne Blank. "Feminism has been fighting for generations against the notion that biology doesn't equal destiny. Do we really believe it?"

I believe in rights for trans indivduals and I believe in acceptance. It hurts me that not only does discrimination exist within the straight world but also within the LGBTQI community.

I am posting the documentary here. Form your own opinions. Enjoy.

Boy I Am

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Friday, July 29, 2011

Norma Miller: The Queen of Swing


Lindy Hop is a passion of mine. If it is for you as well, I imagine you are an admirer of the great Norma Miller.

For those of you who know nothing of this phenomenal dancer, keep reading.

Norma Miller was born on December 2, 1919 and at the young age of 92 she is one of the most influential figures from the Harlem swing dance scene. She is known to many as "The Queen of Swing." Norma was hanging outside of Harlem's Savoy Ballroom at the age of 14. She caught the eye of Herbert "Whitey" White, leader of the lindy hop dance troupe Whitey's Lindy Hoppers.

Below is a promo for the yet to be released DVD entitled The Queen of Swing.

Whitey's Lindy Hoppers called it quits in the early 40s. Miller moved to California to cread Norma Miller's Dance Company.  In the early 50s she, Billy Ricker and drummer Michael Silvers worked as the Del Rio Trio. Sammy Davis Jr. saw the group and hired away Mike Silvers to be his drummer. During the late 50s Miller formed the Norma Millers Jazz Men which included Billy Ricker.




Miller also acted as a comedienne, when she worked in Las Vegas with Redd Foxx. She did so for over 10 years. In the70s she formed another Lindy Hop and jazz performance group, called The Savoy Swingers.



In addition, Norma Miller has been featured dancing in several movies. Miller can bee seen in the 1937 Marx Brothers film, A Day at the Races  and my personal favorite, the 1941 Hellzapoppin'. Miller was also featured in Spike Lee's 1992 film Malcolm X.

The classic dance scene from Hellzapoppin' 1941

(Don't think I don't notice the racism that exists within this film. The black men and women featured in films of time were often cast as servants catering to white men and women. Bus boys, maids, etc.)

Classic dance sequence of Whitey's Lindy Hoppers
Dancers (in order of appearance) William Downes and Micky Jones, Billy Ricker and Norma Miller, Al Minns and Willa Mae Ricker, Frankie Manning and Ann Johnson.


Miller is the author of several books, including, Norma Miller's Swing Baby Swing, chronicles the evolution of the swing dance culture into the 21st century and her biography, Swingin' at the Savoy: A Memoir of a Jazz Dancer.

Today, Norma continues to work as a comedienne and choreographer in Las Vegas. 


To purchase Norma Miller's Stompin' at the Savoy click

Norma Miller Queen of Swing dvd has yet to be released. Learn about it here.

To learn more about Normal Miller visit her official facebook page here.
If you simply google "Norma Miller" you will find various websites that offer a bio.

Just for Fun: How Would You Answer the Inside the Actors Studio Questionnaire by Bernard Pivot?

I am a fan of the tv program, Inside the Actors Studio. The show features host James Lipton who interviews actors in the presence of an audience. The audience consists of student actors, playwrights and directors.

Towards the end of the show, right before he allows the featured actor to receive questions from the students he poses a questionnaire from his "hero" Bernard Pivot. I had always wondered who Pivot was as I truly love the questionnaire and James continues to refer to Pivot as his hero.

I researched this a bit and learned that Lipton by chance caught a viewing of Pivot's cable tv program. I learned that Pivot is a journalist, and a French television personality.

Although, I am not an actor and have no intention to try, I have been fascinated with Pivot's questionnaire. Here I will post the questions and give my answers to them.               

Inside the Actors Studio: Questionnaire by Bernard Pivot

1. What is your favorite word? - Twitterpeeted

2. What is your least favorite word? - Absolutely. I feel that it is overused and therefore becomes such an empty word. "Did you feel happy about that? Absolutely!" The word actually makes me cringe. Is that odd?

3. What turns you on? - Genuine kindness. Genuine.

4. What turns you off? - Patriarchy

5. What sound or noise do you love? - The sound of a lover's heartbeat. To lie on the chest of someone you love and listen to their pulse is incredibly humbling. To know that as I lie on someone's chest means that I am not that far from the person's actual heart, this thing that keeps us alive is surreal. It makes me see how human we all are.

6. What sound or noise do you hate? - The screams that come from one of my family members.

7. What is your favorite curse word? - Damn. It isn't used that much in comparison to other swear words. And generally I do not swear that often. The words "fuck" or "shit" will fly swiftly from my mouth when I stub my toe, bite my tongue, or if I drop something. Although swearing can be cathartic I think there are more intelligent words to use. If you make swearing a habit, before you know it, every other word becomes "fuck".

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? - Professional dancer. I'd love to be a member of Alvin Ailey's Dance Theater.

9. What profession would you not like to participate in? - Teacher. I think I'd be really bad at it. I think for all of us who went to school, we have that one teacher that really stands out. That one that really influenced us and inspired us. One that we really enjoyed for their humor or their compassion or their intelligence. I would not be one of those people. I think I'd be able to teach the material but I'd be really boring.

10. If heaven exists what would you like God to say as you arrive at the pearly gates? - Welcome home.

What would you say? What are your answers?


"We would like you to release the word "achieve" or "earn" from your vocabulary, and from your understanding altogether. And we would like you to replace those words with the word "allow." You're wanting to allow your well-being, not achieve it. It's not something that you need to earn. All you have to do is decide what it is you would like to experience, and then allow it in order to achieve it."
~Abraham Hicks
This quote is powerful. It is powerful in that it is foreign to me and I imagine it is foreign to others as well. I have always thought in terms of "achieving." At first read, to "allow", sounds like doing nothing and letting something come to you. And if you do that you might be waiting forever. But I think what it means is that we put up so much resistance in life and that resistance often comes in the form of pessimism.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Daniel Ahearn

How would I describe Daniel Ahearn? No clue. How would I describe Daniel Ahearn's music? No clue. Alt country? Indie pop? Folk? Why are labels so important to us? I'll save that for another post.

Just read this.

Official Bio:

Daniel Ahearn is an American singer/songwriter. In 2001 he formed the band ill lit in Brooklyn. The band relocated to LA in 2002. ill lit released 'WACMusic', 'I Need you' and 'Tom Cruise'. In 2008, Daniel began recording under his own name. He produced the ambient electronic record 'Readings from Wheeling Motel' featuring the poetry of Franz Wright in 2009. Daniel cites Franz as a major influence. Other influences include Randy Newman, Leonard Cohen, Anne Sexton, John Prine, Hart Crane, Rumi, Ronee Blakley, Gottardo Piazzoni, Mark Milroy, Jackson Browne, Prince, Todd Snider, Aphex Twin, The Flaming Lips, Gavin Bryars, and Eno. In 2011, Daniel releases his first full length solo record 'Long way home'. The first track from his full length 'I Will Let You Go' is featured in the Ivan Reitman hit comedy 'No Strings Attached'.

Los Angeles by Ill lit

Down for the Count by Daniel Ahearn

The Music:

To purchase Daniel Ahearn's Pray For Me By Name click here.

To purchase Daniel Ahearn's Midwestern ep click here.


To purchase Daniel Ahearn's Long Way Home click here.

To purchase Franz Wright's Readings from Wheeling Motel produced by Daniel Ahearn click here.

To purchase Ill lit's WAC Music click here.

To purchase Ill lit's I Need You click here.

To purchase Ill lit's Tom Cruise click here.

To learn more about Daniel Ahearn visit the official website here.
To visit Daniel Ahearn's official facebook page click here.

this town

"There is so much pretty trouble in this town.."
~Daniel Ahearn 

C'mon...Who Doesn't Love Hippos?

Bloody Hell!

Dear americans, 
You just read that in an accent didn't you?
..yes, yes I did...

For more comedic and witty Dear Blank Please Blank messages visit the official website here.
To visit their official facebook page click here.


"We are already connected with the field of intention, but the question is, HOW connected are we?"

This is a question posed by spiritual author and speaker, Dr. Wayne Dyer in his taping of a seminar for "Power of Intention". It is currently up on YouTube. To view it click here.

Also on YouTube is Dyer's Excuses Be Gone.

Dyer is commonly known for his powerful and insightful books which include, The Power of Intention, Excuses Be Gone, Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life and more. 

Although, I have watched them before, I decided to again watch The Power of Intention and Excuses Be Gone.

I'd like to share some of the things that I have learned and things that will definitely take practice. Rewiring one's brain is no easy task. Especially if you have lived a life of pessimism.

There may be many reasons as to why we are pessimistic. Family upbringing, lack of emotional support, environment.

Dyer says, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Seems like a simple concept, yes? Perhaps, but I see it as incredibly challenging. I'm a Taurus, which means I'm stubborn!

Dyer says that if we are to look at the universe as a hostile place then that is what we will bring into our lives.

The law of attraction is one that I have struggled with. I have struggled with the idea that whatever thoughts we send out are sources of energy and that same energy will return to us. Is it that black and white?

According to Dyer it is.

"All that God created is good. So, when you say I want to feel good you are really saying I want to feel God. I want to feel this source of all things. I want to feel what it feels."

I personally believe in God. Not all do. Dyer explains that some people may refer to God as "source", "the universe", or other things that equate to a higher power.

Dyer addresses a common question which is, how can one feel good when there is so much pain in the world? When people are dying of cancer, when people are starving, the list goes on and on.

Dyer tells us that "No amount of feeling bad will help other people. When you feel bad and say I can't do this, I don't deserve it, you have created resistance and separateness from Good. Use the emotions you feel, sadness, fear, anxiety and use them as a barometer to see how you are feeling. When you are resistant you are keeping yourself from feeling good."

"Every thought you have that says I can't do it is resistance and takes you away from source. When you say it's never worked before, what you want to create prevented."

Dyer tells us to "stop being offended". Uh? How can we possibly do that?

He tells us that "If you think about what is missing don't be surprised if you keep attracting what's missing into your life". Profound ay?

"If you think about what has always been, then don't be surprised if what always has been is what keeps showing up in your life - because thoughts are energy."

Dyer encourages to keep thinking about what we want. If we want a better job, if we want to lose weight, if we want a romantic partner, we are to continue thinking about it and put our attention on it. Eventually we will be able to act on it.

"The ego and awareness cannot coexist. The ego says that I care about what other people think of me. That who we are is what we do, accumulate, and what other people think. Thinking with awareness allows excuses to be gone from our life. When you think with awareness your first thought no matter what it is, is, "With God all things are possible.'"

He reminds us that if we do this it does not mean that all things will instantly be better. It does however, mean that we will begin a new way of looking at anything that comes our way in life. In time we will get to a place where we will be able to understand that we can handle situations which we previously thought we could not. We will understand that we are not alone, and the solution is out there even if we do not know what it is at the time.

"All excuses are misalignments".

Dyer says, to rid ourselves of excuses we must practice contemplating what we intend to manifest. In the Excuses Be Gone program he offers a quote from Aristotle. "Contemplation is the highest from of activity."

Later on he offers a quote by Virginia Woolf. "Arrange whatever pieces come your way."

Another quote he offers is by Carl Jung. As a psychiatric social worker I have studied the theories of Carl Jung and Dyer has studied him as well. The quote by Jung is this. "The greatest and most important problems in life are all in a certain sense insoluble. They can never be solved, but only outgrown."

Dyer follows by offering a humorous but profound addition. "Don't believe everything you think." Marvelous. 

So here's where some real work comes into play. In Excuses Be Gone, Dyer encourages us to ask ourselves. "What would my life look like if I couldn't use these excuses?" That we would no longer think that what we want to seek is too risky or that we are impaired in some way.

He says that every time we were to think about how we want a better job, relationship etc, we should go to the place in our imagination where we understand how great it would feel if we had no excuses. If we could truly accomplish what we want to accomplish. Happiness? Contentment? 

He says that when we go to bed at night the biggest mistake we make is when we review all the things that we don't like, all the things that upset us during the day, all the things and people that are missing from our lives.

What Dyer refers to as "the habitual mind" aka the subconscious, cannot make a distinction between what is literally happening to us and what we are imagining. When we fall asleep with these negative thoughts, our subconscious mind thinks these are the things we want. If we are to think positively, then our subconscious mind aligns us "in a mysterious way that none of us can understand which allows for the manifestation of the materialization to take place."

So how do we practice this way of being? After all it is something that will take continuous practice. He tells, us that we have to affirm our new way of being by saying things like, "I have the ability to accomplish any task I set my mind to do with ease and comfort." He says that even if it may not be true we can affirm it which will lead us to where we ultimately want to be.

Sounds like a "fake it till' you make it" strategy. In the past I've been suspicious of this route as it seems rather dishonest.  That we are basically lying to ourselves so that we will think things will turn out better. That we are telling ourselves that things may change for us positively when most likely they won't. It took me some time to understand that we are bringing positivity into our lives so that we can end up handling tough situations with better emotional preparation and stability. With greater ease. At times I am still resistant but I have to remind myself of the greater goal.

Dyer tells us that every time we have a doubt in our head, every time we think to ourselves, it's too risky etc., the first question we should ask ourselves is, "Is it true?"

For us doubters we very well may say, "yes." Yes it is too risky.

The second question is, "Are you 100% sure that it is true?" In other words, are you 100% certain that you will not get that job you want, that you will not find that relationship that you want? Can you prove that there is no way you will achieve what you wish to achieve? 

The answer is NO.

Dyer tells us to think about the reverse of our negative thinking. Our thought that it is too risky becomes, "It is going to be easy." Then again ask yourself, "Is that true?" The answer is NO. But THEN ask yourself, "Am I 100% certain that it is not true?" NO. So, why have we been telling ourselves that bad things will always happen to us?

Dyer gives us some affirmation that will help us in confronting our excuses.

It's Going To Be Risky

"Being myself involves no risks. It's my ultimate truth and I live fearlessly."

It Will Take A Long Time
"I have infinite patience when it comes to fulfilling my own destiny."

I Don't Deserve It
"I am a divine creation, a piece of God. How can I be undeserving."

No One Will Help Me
"The right circumstances and the right people are already here and will show up on time."

It's Never Happened Before
"I am open and willing to attract all I desire being here and now."

I'm Not Strong Enough
"I have access to unlimited assistance. My strength comes from connection to my source."

It's Too Big
"I think only about what I can do now. By thinking small I accomplish great things."

I Don't Have The Energy
"I feel passionately about my life and this passion fills me with excitement and energy."

It's My Personal Family History
"I live in the present moment for being grateful for all of my life experiences as a child. All of them."

I'm Too Scared
"I can accomplish anything I put my mind to because I know I'm never alone."

Sound good? Sound like hard work? You betcha.

Want more? Take a look for yourself.

Excuses Be Gone

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Want more?

Power of Intention

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

To learn more about Dr. Wayne Dyer visit his official website here.
To visit Dr. Wayne Dyer's official facebook page click here.

The Male Birth Control Pill: We're Still Talking About It & There Is Still Resistance To Put It On The Market

The issue of male birth control pills is one that I have posted about several times on this blog. Just recently I caught two articles that address the on going discussion of a "male pill."

Michael Parsons (which is the author's pseudonym) originally wrote an article on Role Reboot that was also posted on The Good Men Project which is where I found it. The article is called A "Male Pill" Could Have Changed My Life.

Parsons tells the story of how he started out having three children and was a stay at home dad, caring for his three sons of the ages, eight, six, and five. Parsons had planned to return to work as his boys were at the age where they would be in school. A month before school had begun his wife announced that she was pregnant even though she had been taking birth control pills.

It's unfortunate but I can tell you that several of the women I have known have utilized the birth control pill religiously only to have it fail. Each of the women I have spoken to also have known women who have used the pill and later became pregnant.

In the end Parsons ended up getting a vasectomy but had thought about how a male pill would have helped him tremendously. In fact he believes it could have changed his life. His wife continued to go to work while he remained a stay at home dad.

"I’m very happy and proud to be a father of four. I’m very lucky that we can afford our lifestyle on my wife’s salary. But having a safe, reliable male contraceptive would have given me a measure of greater control over my life. Unfortunately for all of us, it still seems to be a wish and a hope."

Parsons goes on to say, "The question I want to ask is: how will things change if we don’t get a male pill? After all, the world is changing. Gender roles are no longer functioning as they used to. Men and women no longer approach parenthood and careers with the same expectations that ruled society in previous generations. The number of stay-at-home dads and breadwinner moms is increasing. I think you’ll agree: It’s about time for men to have more control over their reproductive futures, as well."

It is important to note that over the past two decades there have been talks from scientists about reaching a goal of putting a male contraceptive pill on the market. As I'm sure you've noticed, all that we have on the market are a variety of condoms.

In 2010 I wrote a post on this blog mentioning the 50th anniversary of the birth control pill and how Los Angeles Biomedical Research Institute at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center had announced a start in testing a male contraceptive on patients. Unfortunately, researchers are not always able to do so as allocated monies to further their exploration of a male contraceptive are not always available. Part of this reason is because many pharmaceutical companies fear male contraceptives will not bring in enough money. Why not? Because many figure men would not be interested in taking on the responsibility of birth control in the way that women have for so long. To read my post, Finally Researchers Finally Begin Testing Male Contraceptive Pills, click here.

Parson states that the discussion surrounding a male pill often results in an argument of  nature vs. nurture. The nature part of the argument is that some say that a male pill will not be possible as it is biologically more difficult to work within the male reproductive system. The nurture part of it is mentioned in the above paragraph.

At the beginning of Parson's article he mentions how Salon author Tracy Clark-Flory influenced his decision to write an article on this topic as she had recently posted an article herself. Flory's article is called, What Will the "Male Pill" Change?

Flory dives right into the subject when at the start of her article she says, "The birth control pill changed everything for women, allowing greater freedom to pursue higher education, careers and, yes, sex. Now just imagine what kind of social change a contraceptive for men would bring."

Flory spoke to a variety of disciplines including anthropologists, sociologists, sexologists and as she put it, "even some not ending in 'ogist'".

One of the individuals Flory spoke to was a Good Vibrations staff sexologist named Carol Queen. Queen informed Flory that with the use of a male pill men might feel that they are able to have more sex with more partners. Queen said that a male pill might challenge traditional thoughts towards monogamy and offer alternatives to monogamy. 

I am a true believe of monogamy and have never wanted to stray from it. Even so, I believe that anyone has the right to do what they want to do safely. If men and women feel that their options will widen due to a male pill, at least they will be safer going forth.

Queen also warns that "contraception will feel more immediate and necessary than safer sex prophylaxis." The result could be "that pill-popping males may be even less inclined to use condoms".

My suggestion? I recommend that both male and female parties make use of contraceptive pills. I know I would feel a LOT safer.

Queen says, "If women were to have men around who would gladly step up to the plate on this issue, it would, perhaps, shift a ground-level dynamic in male-female relationships having to do with power and trust."

Flory says that this could affect the on going question of whether insurance companies should cover birth control. A male pill might add to the argument that a pill is a form of abortion. Elaine Lissner, director of the Male Contraception Information Project responds to this by stating "As far as the abortion issue, this is about as far away from an egg as you can get." She also says, "Only if you believe that every sperm is sacred and no seed should be spilled can you be against a method like this -- or if like the Catholic Church you oppose 'artificial' contraception."

Another concern of mine in addition to sexist attitudes from big pharma, who believe there is no real reason to market a male pill, is that it seems many men do not know how a pill works for women. I have not taken an official pole or read conclusive studies about this issue and I am no expert but, based on my encounters with male friends and male acquaintances, I have learned that there are men who are happy that a female pill exists, but have no idea how it works. In my view this shows a lack of responsibility and support for their female counterparts. 

In another 2010 post I wrote an article called Men and "The Pill". To read that post click here. Within the blog article I posted a YouTube video called The Sexist Presents: Men Explaining Birth Control. I will repost it for your viewing here.

I believe that many men who engage in intercourse with women are unaware of how the pill and other contraceptives work because they figure it is the woman's job to take care of it. I find this altogether disappointing as I feel that if two people are going to engage in intercourse they should both know what measures they must take to protect themselves. It's a conversation that is important and for whatever reasons there are couples who take the birth control situation for granted.

I also think that when it comes to the pill and condoms (as well as other contraceptives) the bill is rarely split. If two parties are involved in sexual activity why not split the cost? Why leave payment of condoms up to the man and payment of the pill up to women? This furthers the divide.

I've read reports in past articles that have stated that men might not remember to take a pill every day or may not want to take a pill every day. If there are actual men out there who believe they cannot remember to take a pill or use some of the measures women take to remind themselves to take a daily pill, this is either the lamest excuse or an extreme short sighted belief. One that actually dumbs down the male gender. How insulting is that? Very.

It concerns me that there are some men who would be resistant to taking a male pill. It is a sexist notion that taking a pill is a woman's job or a woman's "thing". That if a man were to take a pill then some how they would be less of a man.

If a male pill would actually assist in decreasing pregnancy why not use it? Unfortunately we are at the mercy of big pharma and experts say that a pill for men is not anywhere in our near future.

Cirque Du Soleil: This Is How They Do It

I've been passionate about Cirque Du Soleil for a long time. As a dancer I have always been interested but I certainly do not have the talent of these performers.

Ever wonder how they do it?

Here's a great video I recently came upon that gives great insight to the hard work put into the productions and the charitable aspects of Cirque that you may not have known existed.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Twinkie Chan the Magnificent! Her rap video, hip crochet abilities, and the work of Shrinkle!

Can I tell you how much I love Twinkie Chan? Can I can I can I? Thank you. She's the bee's knees, she's the cat's meow, she's the penguins tuxedo and everything in between. I've posted about her before but I am always happy to mention her name.

She's an amazing foodie crochet artist and I have spent way too much money purchasing her scarves. But Ms. Twinkie Chan is much more than scarves. She crochets food themed, purses, tissue box covers, coffee cup warmers, and more!

And she's cute to boot! Here is a photo from Inked Magazine. I have always loved her food themed tattoos especially her cupcake tattoos as cupcakes are my obsession.

So, on to her amazing work.

Twinkie Chan and her wall o' yarn.

Cupcakes galore..

The salad is my favorite. Beets in the mix. One of my all time favorite foods. They turn your pee red but they're worth it. Um, also this photo features a strawberry shortcake cake.

This is one of the scarves I own. I love how random food is and I love food more as an aesthetic than how food actually tastes. I love food themed necklaces, and rings, food themed play toys and clothes. And I do love toast so this scarf is one of the many perfect choices for me.

Meat! Hardcore meat!

Breakfast, lunch and dessert!

Tissue box cover! Cake with cherries on top!

Tissue box cover! Nummy lemon cake!

More scarves! Ice cream, waffle and butter, and strawberries!

Twinkie Chan also has a crochet book that came out in 2010. The book teaches offers her patters of various foodie scarf items.

The main purpose of this post was for me to show you Twinkie Chan's rap video. Yes, rap video! Pure awesome sauce. The video promotes her crochet book.

Did you notice the "tight hooker" necklaces in reference to crochet hooking?

I want to give a plug to Shrinkle and her buddies who are also featured in the video.

Shrinkle's true name is Amy Doan. She designs clothes and according to her blogsite her inspirations are vintage dance costumes and lingerie, Japanese street fashion, and toddler beauty pageants. She is also the creative force behind Sugarpill Cosmetics, which is a colorful line of eyeshadow. If I actually wore makeup I'm sure I'd be all over it.

Isn't she purty?

Ok, so back to Twinkie Chan. Lastly I'd like to talk about her blogsite called I Eat Yucky Stuff. It's delightful. As you can imagine Twinkie Chan does not just crochet foodie things she is a foodie herself. And often she eats things regularly or will try things out that are a bit on the strange side. She will also post videos of herself trying out new snacks and dishes.

Here she is eating quail eggs.

Um, yum?

Check out her website which features a fridge that opens! Click on the cute bouncy food items in the fridge and see what happens!

 To the official Twinkie Chan website click here.
To visit the official Twinkie Chan etsy page click here.
To visit the official Twinkie Chan facebook page click here.
To visit the official Twinkie Chan blog or "blargh" as she calls it, click here.
Twinkie Chan has a online website store called Yummy You Clothing. It is still in the works but you can give it a glance here.
To visit Twinkie Chan's Live Journal page click here.
Believe it or not Twinkie Chan still has myspace page. Yowza. To visit it click here.
To visit the official Twinkie Chan twitter page click here.
To visit the official Twinkie Chan Twitpic page click here.
To visit Twinkie Chan's official flickr page click here.
To visit Twinkie Chan's I Eat Yucky Stuff blog click here.
To purchase Twinkie Chan's crochet book entitled Twinkie Chan's Crochet Goodies For Fashion Foodies: 20 Yummy Treats to Wear click here.
To visit Twinkie Chan TV aka her own videos on YouTube click here.
To visit Twinkie Chan's official formspring page click here.

If you're like me you're thinking man, how does she keep up with so many websites? She must have magic multi-tasking powers that none of us possess.

Here is a promo video for her 2010 crochet book where she teaches us how to make a cupcake scarf. Well, not really. But you do get to see her make one reeally fast.

And don't forget about Shrinkle!

To visit Shrinkle's blog page click here.
To visit Shrinkle's etsy page click here.
To visit Shrinkle's facebook page click here.
To visit Shrinkle's myspage page click here.
To visit Shrinkle's ebay page click here.
To visit Shrinkle's twitter page click here.
To visit Shrinkle's live journal page click here.
To visit the official Sugar Pill Cosmetics page click here.
To visit the official Sugar Pill Cosmetics facebook page click here.

Apparently Shrinkle also has super duper multi-tasking powers. We need to get these women capes.

Well, that's it folks!

why we want more

Cuz, as much as we remember we'll always forget...


The People Who Brought You Birth Control & The Right To Vote

                                                                                                                                         Quote from