Sunday, September 30, 2012

How Do You Know Forever is Forever? PART 3


Below is PART 3 of How Do You Know Forever is Forever? You can find PART 2, here.

How long a couple waits before they wed varies, but for so many I know, two seems to be the magic number. Two years to decide that a life time of love is possible. I used to think that the younger the couple, the sooner they married. I now see that older couples have their own reasons to race to the altar.

Those who have been married in their younger years may not feel the need to wait so long to declare the relationship they wish to have. Those who are younger might romanticize the idea of marriage so much that they leap like eager gazelles to the nearest church.

Weddings are about romance, love is what came before and what is left after the blessed event.

Weddings like so many other celebratory events can contain trinkets of wisdom and symbolic wonder. I've always been a fan of symbolism as it is a language that is expressed without words. I won't go so far as to suggest that weddings can in no way harbor substance and sincerity.

For some, extensive planning and exhausting expenses are worth the day of tradition. Some are able to escape the tornado whirl of wedding plans and actually focus on the reason for it.

Even so -- amongst all the planning, there are other traditions that are also open for questioning. Bridal showers and bachelorette and bachelor parties, mark the last era of freedom and the new era of enlightened and committed love. 

What escapes so many is that freedom and commitment existed before anyone popped the magic question. Enlightenment comes from understanding that married love is not a special kind of love; a love that is different from unmarried love.

We are all better off if we let go of the patriarchal idea that marriage defines any kind of love. Love doesn't have to wait for a proposal and it isn't suddenly easier to maintain that love when two wake up sleepily and utter, "Morning wife" -- "Morning husband."

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