Saturday, January 7, 2012

James Deen is Not the Nice Guy of Porn





















It was only recently that I learned of the name James Deen. Yes, this is a porn name, and yes it is a take on the late film actor James Dean.  Being that I am an anti-porn feminist, it is clear that I am not in favor of Mr. Deen’s profession. Even so, there seems to be a lot of buzz at the moment so I decided to do some digging and see what the fuss is about.
It should be noted that Deen has a genuine following. There are many many  women who swoon over him. Amongst women, it’s not a big secret that women also become aroused by visual stimulation. In other words, it is not just men that are visually aroused and it is not just men who enjoy porn. Women have been watching porn for ions although it seems only recently that more men are understanding that women watch porn just as they  do. Obviously, I am not thrilled about this, but I do appreciate the fact that women are becoming more vocal about their own desires, rather than just leaving it up to men to voice what they want.
When it comes to James Deen, I'm learning that teen girls, young women and older, are flocking to the 25 year old port star  with the 9 inch penis.  According to Good, Deen shot his first scene in a 2004 film entitled Art School Sluts.  He can currently be seen performing general porn scenes for Brazzers, BDSM scenes for Kink and  sex with girls who possess the “punk” aesthetic for Burning Angel.
If you Google James Deen you’ll find a lot of articles that speak to his sensitivities and his professionalism. In a recent article by The Good Men’s Project, Deen says in regards to his job as a porn star: “You show up on time, don’t be drunk, don’t bring drugs, be polite, be professional.”
Jezebel also posted a recent article, that stresses, his appeal is largely due to his charm. 
Deen looks like “an average guy” rather than the built biceped type of actor.  He’s laid back and lacks and over-inflated ego.  He keeps things pretty simple. I had heard about his blog and decided to check it out. His posts are very repetitive; not to mention brief. He talks about how he felt when he woke up in the morning, how he’s hungry and wants a burrito –he often mentions burritos. He will mention who he “banged” that day, and then offer a photo of the woman, usually bending over and spreading her butt cheeks.   Here are a few example posts from Deen’s blog:  
"So today i banged ava adams.  ava has a freaky awesome body.  like super amazing.  her waist is like super small, her boobs are like super huge, her ass is like super amazing.. .she is built like a cartoon.  a sexy cartoon that people want to bang.  i think i did her first boy girl scene.  i can’t honestly remember but it was for vince vouyer and it was right as she started putting penises inside her and it was awesome.  today was awesome too.  i am now home watching porn and drinking wine.  i also am eating humus.  i got some food from a place called the humus bar.  everything has been completely satisfactory.  i would recommend eating there if you are hungry and it is convenient.  the biggest problem i have is that it is called the humus bar and they don’t have a super awesome selection of humus.  get on it humus bar!!!  the end. “
What immediately struck me is that Deen compared Adams to a cartoon, which is certainly dehumanizing.
"today i worked for brazzers.com for i think teenslikeitbig.com.  i banged heather starlet who i haven’t seen for years.  she is awesome and super fun to bang.  she and used to have this contest to see how many times i could get her off in a scene… now that i think about it that wasn’t much of a contest.  she just said get me off this many times and then i would try to do it.  that crafty little slut!!!!!!!  whatever, i am happy to get heather starlet off as much as humanly possible."
Women in porn are often referred to as “sluts”. Many women in porn embrace this label or simply accept this label when working. But Deen’s post are a good example of how a man’s view of women becomes skewed through his participation in porn; be he an observer or an entertainer. “That crafty little slut!” What is it that makes her a slut Deen?
"So gia dimarco is an awesome chick.  she and i go way back like car seats and recliners.  I love this broad like hardcore.  today we did a scene for publicdisgrace.com where princess donna dragged her into a bar full of people then finger banged her all crazy squirt like and stuff and then i banged her in the ass.  i banged gia in the ass not princess donna.  i wouldn’t have minded banging princess donna up the ass because she is really fun to bang in the ass but it wasn’t the day for that.  today was the day for princess donna to direct gia dimarco getting banged in the ass by me.  ASS SLAM!!!!"
None of this is offering me a sense of Deen’s supposed sensitivity. From what I’m learning about Deen, he does indeed seem like a laid back guy. He speaks highly of everyone he works with and doesn’t take himself too seriously. All of this is fine and good, but it doesn’t change how he speaks about women.
Amanda Hess from Good, posted an article in November of this year, based on an interview she facilitated at Deen’s Woodland Hills home in California. She speaks about the porn industry in general and how Deen fits into it. According to Hess, Deen has gathered about two thousand porn films in the eight years that he has been working. She tells us that in a few years, actresses his own age will become MILFs (Mother I’d  Like To Fuck) while he will continue to have sex with 18 year olds.
This speaks volumes; not about Deen but about the porn industry. As women age, so does their career. Mainstream porn is heterosexual porn, which adheres to the male gaze. The purpose of porn is to show a woman loving whatever a man is doing to her. TO her, not with her. WITH her would equate to love making. Sex in porn equates to “fucking”.  The man is dominant, the woman is submissive. In pornography there is no such thing as "no". Or rather, when a woman says “no”, she really means yes. OR, if she says “no” she can be convinced otherwise.  Either way, porn displays women who are always willing and always wanting more.
Porn producer, Joshua Lehman, tells Good:  “If a woman enters the industry at 18, she can ride it for ten years, starting with solo scenes ($250) before advancing to “girl-girl” scenes ($600), then “boy-girl” arrangements ($800-$1,000). Along the way, she can secure pay bumps by exposing herself in new ways: blowjobs, anal, double penetration, gang bang.  She gains a following by her late 20s, she can keep working well into her MILF days. A man won’t make as much as a woman, but he can work every day without risk of overexposure. As far as the porn industry is concerned, no one is really paying attention to him anyway. “A male talent is a prop.”
This is also very telling of the porn industry. What Lehman says here is nothing I didn’t already know. A man’s entire body is not always featured in pornography. Sometimes it’s just his lower torso where a woman is fellating him or her vagina or anus is being penetrated.
Our youth obsessed society translates to porn in that the stars are becoming younger and younger and if they are of age and just happen to appear pre-pubescent it is a win-win in most cases.
Deen makes about $15,000 a month and refers to himself as the luckiest guy in the world.”
Women gush over how nice Deen is. According to Jezebel, one young woman reports, "There was just something about the way he moved,"Emily says of her first exposure to Deen. He seemed to be "speaking to the girl, but not with his mouth, with his hand over the girl's throat, and with his eyes." Now, Emily says it doesn't matter if Deen is having intimate sex with a woman on a bed or shoving her into the trunk of his car: "I go for just about anything."
I’m not sure how shoving a woman into a car trunk is viewed as sensitive or humane in anyway. But then again, there are many women who appreciate rough sex—and although “rough” can present itself in many different ways; for some it does indeed equate to being thrown into a trunk.
Deen’s laid back personality doesn’t impress me. He may indeed by a really nice guy. I don’t believe that porn actors are necessarily bad people. But when a person embraces patriarchy I do raise some questions.
Deen does a LOT of BDSM work. In an interview with Emily Heist Moss from The Good Men Project, Deen tells her, “Rough sex is a science, and I’m really good at it.”
But Moss, continues to ask questions. She asks Deen about the misogyny that exists within porn, particularly the kink porn he participates in. He tells Moss about a particular scene that was so aggressive that he actually received death threats. 
“I was like, ‘Hey man, that was my girlfriend.’” The point, he emphasizes, is that “it’s all totally fake.” All of it? “Take these two different sites that look the same,” he says, describing sites that play in the space of extreme degradation. One site is “brilliant. Everyone thinks it’s about degradation and making girls cry, really rough, fucked-up stuff; before every scene, they do an interview with the girl. They talk very specifically about what kind of scene it is. ‘It’ll be degrading, there will be this and that.’ The majority of girls are like, ‘OK, awesome, bring it on.’” But what about the other site? “Oh, well those guys are misogynistic assholes,” he says. “They just want to hurt women. They suck.” As a viewer, I probably couldn’t tell the difference.
I agree, there’s not much honesty in porn. I find it strikingly odd that Deen would suggest that because certain scenes are fake, that they aren’t truly misogynistic. The point of those films, are to eroticize misogyny.   In Moss’s article she tells us that,
“The lines get blurry when porn gets as rough as Deen likes it. He tells me about a site he recently stopped working for because he didn’t like the premise. “Girls acted like they did something ‘bad,’ like step on my shoe,” he describes, “and then I’d have rough sex to punish them. It made me feel icky.” I want him to clarify, after all, he makes a living slapping women around onscreen. “At Kink, this girl and I are having awesome sex and she likes to get slapped in the face. The sex isn’t punishment. It’s BDSM lifestyle, and they make it super clear it’s the girl’s fantasy. It’s the distinction between power play that is built on a foundation of consent and pleasure, and sex that comes from a place of anger and resentment.”
Within feminist circles BDSM and porn in general are big topics of debate. There is a pro-porn camp within feminism. These ladies and gents believe that certain types of porn can be healthy and liberating. That a woman can exercise her own agency and desire porn without the influence of patriarchy. I disagree. I have had polite discussions with pro-porn feminists about this issue. I intend to keep these discussions civil, because if they are not than neither side is learning anything.
If you Google, “James Deen”, you will be exposed to a plethora of photos that depict Deen walking a naked woman by a dog collar in public. Penetrating a woman tied up and suspended in the air by ropes. Or a woman with her wrists tied and hung above her with one leg tied and suspended above her as well. A gag ball in her mouth, a blindfold across her eyes, and clothesline pins snapped all across her legs and breasts. Then she is penetrated. These are the BDSM scenes that Deen frequently engages in. The women are penetrated before an audience and a mistress yells at the women, referring to them as "sluts". Some women are locked in cages and are penetrated from outside of it.
All of these women are engaging in these acts willingly, but that makes little difference.  To the feminists within the pro-porn side of life, it does. I truly believe that there are women who love acting in porn. There are women who enjoy the degradation and love the stardom. I think it is lazy to leave it at that. To assume that because women are willing, they are somehow escaping the harms of pornography.
Porn teaches us all that women are less than fully human. That women, exist for the purposes of fulfilling men’s fantasies. That lesbians, are dying to have men watch them have sex and that they are willing to allow a man to penetrate them. Porn teaches us that black men are savage beasts with large penises and that women of color are exotic. If you watch porn you are aware of the titles and themes of such films.  Porn is racist, porn is sexist and often homophobic.
Yes gay porn exists. Trans porn exists. Quote/unquote, feminist porn exists. Porn that is made by women, for women. Changing up porn, broadening themes, and widening audiences isn’t so much a sign of progression as it is a sign of expansion.
Some women enter porn because of economic reasons. Some women enter porn because they desire acceptance and validation. Some believe pornography gives them a sense of self-empowerment. The list goes on, however, when a person pops in a DVD, there is no way to know for certain why a woman is making the choices she is making. It is uncertain as to whether the women on screen are truly making a choice of free will.
Think of it this way. Would you want your daughter or sister engaging in porn? If not, why not? Every porn actress is someone’s daughter or sister.
A woman or man who watches pornography has the power to pause, fast forward and rewind. She or he has the control to manipulate the activity.  This compounds everything.
Porn offers a lack of intimacy and authenticity. Albeit, that is often part of the draw. Not everyone wants this. Porn is not geared towards in depth experiences. Porn helps one “get the job done”. What I would like to know is why getting the job done equates to the type of fantasy that exists within porn.
Porn isn’t left at home. Porn creeps into our bedrooms; sometimes in overt or not so overt ways. I wouldn’t want anyone assuming anything about my sexuality based on what they view from porn.  It is no secret that some men actually learn from porn. And even if a porn act isn’t suggested in my bed, I am well aware that the idea that a man is dominant in bed is wide spread (no pun intended) within bedrooms almost everywhere.
It may seem like a bold or even arrogant statement to suggest that domination exists almost “EVERYWHERE”, but believe me it’s not.
Men and women alike often subscribe to the myth that whatever penetrates “gives” and whatever envelopes “receives.” This is a fact that I have repeated in many of my posts about pornography. I believe it is an issue worth repeating.
The truth is; within a mutual respectful relationship, both parties give and both parties receive. It’s not one or the other. One is not dominant and the other is not submissive. 
In a 2010 article from The Frisky. interviewer Judy McGuire asks Deen if he has any tips for a woman who wants to improve her sex skills. He tells her, “Don’t try to have sex like a porn star.”
Deen explains that within porn men and women are angling the sex for the cameras and that attempting this at home will result in awkwardness. The very fact that Deen insists that women must avoid t his practice, is proof that women (and men) do on occasion attempt to mimic adult films.
Women and men try to mimic porn in a multitude of ways and ultimately what seeps in is most likely to be more than technique. The mindset is likely to present itself as well. When the porn is shut off, the images infuse our fantasies. I believe that it is possible for real connections to become somewhat diluted.
In the same article, Deen is asked what he finds most attractive in women. “There’s nothing sexier than a woman who’s comfortable in her own skin and happy with herself”, Deen says.  I find this odd. Many women who involve themselves in porn undergo plastic surgery. Perhaps they are happier with their bodies after the surgery. But ultimately they have insecurities that they have masked in a very expensive and altering way.
I don’t shame anyone for having insecurities. We all have them. I just think that, porn is not a great example of self-acceptance.
I think it’s difficult to find authentic self-acceptance when Deen is holding a woman by her throat. Deen does in engage in some “gentle” scenes where he will hold a woman’s hand or stroke her hair. But porn producer Joshua Lehman has stated that, male porn actors can set themselves apart from other actors if they “differentiate themselves by “treating the girls nicely and not being a scumbag.”
I suppose there’s no real way to know what Deen’s motivations are for his occasional genteelness. Especially since, this isn’t consistent within his films.
The Good, article offers us a quote from Deen as he explains how he becomes aroused before a scene."'This part of you is really nice,' Deen will think. 'You have really nice eyes, you have really nice hair, you have really nice boobs, your vagina is really cool, I can't wait to jerk off all over your face.'"
I think the sensitivity is lacking here. I don’t see an ounce of respect when a man wants to ejaculate over a woman’s face. Ejaculating onto a woman’s face is another act of control. It’s a way of marking territory.  Being that a woman’s job within porn is to enjoy or pretend to enjoy everything a man decides to do, she will also enjoy or pretend to enjoy ejaculate all over her face. It is the woman’s pleasure in this act that adds to the excitement.
Deen is an avid Tweeter and making statements such as, “Just so you know, when I see you, I’m going to fuck your mouth so hard, you’re eyes are going to bleed” is heartbreaking.
I wonder if the women who claim that Deen is respectful and sensitive are aware of statements such as this. Scenes where Deen is slapping a woman’s breasts and butt while he is penetrating her from behind, while a man enters her mouth as she is suspended by ropes, doesn’t offer warmth and considerate attention that so many women yearn for in their romantic relationships.
Spitting on a woman’s face offers no stimulation other than defamation. Unhygienic acts are prevalent within porn. Whether it is spitting on a woman’s face, ejaculating onto a woman’s face or ATM (ass to mouth) scenes where a man penetrates a woman’s anus and then inserts his penis into her mouth.
If you couldn’t tell by now, I have done some homework. I’ve been to Deen’s blogsite and to a couple of Tumblr sites that serve as odes to the blue eyed porn star.
So it seems that Deen’s “sensitivity” is limited and inconsistent.  To tell the truth, I wouldn't be impressed if his scenes were nurturing 100% of the time.  Porn is still about appeasing the male gaze and most often in a dehumanizing way.
At the end of The Good Men Project article, Emily Heist Moss asks Deen, “Are you a feminist?” Deen responds with, “I hate feminism!” he blurts out, but rushes to rephrase. “In its truest form, I’m down with feminism, but the feminist movement has gone from being about equal rights—something I really believe in—to telling me how horrible I am because I have a penis. That shit drives me crazy.”
My guess is that Deen knows very little about feminism, if he thinks that there is so little to it. But I don’t disagree with Deen when he complains that men often become targets for anger within feminism. In the past I have posted about male friends or acquaintances of mine who have asserted that they believe there is no place for them in feminism. Or rather there is no room.
Women need men to join feminism. In fact if patriarchy were removed there would be no such thing as “feminism”. There would be no need for a movement. Men are not evil, men are wonderful. Men are loving and inspiring human beings. Men are also most often the cause of sexual violence and sexual oppression. This includes acts such as rape, sexual slavery and pornography.  But I am very aware of two things. One; it would behoove men to humble themselves and understand that there is a reason why women are angry, and that behind anger is hurt. Two; one of the failures of feminism is that men are sometimes pushed aside and viewed as “the enemy.”
That being said; Deen makes his living by involving himself in a profession that makes billions by acting out scenarios in which men conquer women. I sincerely wonder what “equal rights” means to Deen.

24 comments:

  1. I think you are responsibilizing Deen for the misogyny of the pornography industry. He is not responsible for that; and his work can be seen as part of a broader attempt to enquire into female desire and sexual disinhibition.

    If you look at Madonna - she was hailed as a trail-blazer by some feminists for openly vaunting female desire and BDSM images of herself. However, on closer analysis all she was doing was Kowtowing to Male constructs of femininity which do not speak to female desire at all - I am thinking of corsets which painfully restrict breathing; high heels which send shock waves up the spine and can damage the joints; it's a bit like donning a uniform to convey that one adheres to Victorian misogynic tenets regarding subjugation and domination of women in the sex act. Her portrayals confirm phallocentric hegemonies, they do not challenge them.

    What is refreshing about James Deen and the women who direct his feminocentric films, is that they do not try to unpick what is pleasure due to sociological conditioning or pleasure due to innate natural desire. They just ask the girl what she is into, and he does it. That signals a pretty healthy reversal to me.

    If we are going to condemn Deen - ask yourself the alternative. It may well be that the girl asking him to slap her in the face needs therapy - that she is a victim of abuse or of skewed ideas linking expressions of her own sexuality to humilation and bullying. Patriarchy and phallocentric renditions of sexuality may well have warped her natural sexuality. But if she can't pull herself up by the hair to know what her natural sexuality would have been had she not been so refracted - it is a tall order for Deen to try and discern how to raise her consciousness in this way. He describes himself as a prop - he is an actor in the same way that these women are - not a clinical psychologist attempting to give them an epiphane or self-revelation.

    Sometimes an industry can only change from the inside-out. By bringing the focus of sex away from the phallus and onto female pleasure, Deen is hardly doing us a disservice. The two main erotic zones for a woman are 1) her mind and 2) her clitoris. By demonstrating to other guys who watch porn just how amazing sex can be by focusing on these two areas, he is helping so many women.

    If you want to insist in an essentialist way, that any man who is having sex with a woman for reasons other than love - for example that she is being paid - is committing rape - ie. bypassing that woman's desire or willingness to have sex by paying them to consent to be raped - then I would urge you to bear in mind Deen's refusal to have sex when there was any question of the girl's unwillingness - even if that is just built into the plot of the film. He is very attractive to a lot of women, they fancy him - so their urges towards him may be authentic and that is the implicit message coming across in his films - that women are choosing to engage in intimacy with him. This is a world-away from seeing some patriarchal thrusting stereotype giving it to a girl whether she likes it or not - and reading that unhealthy dislocation of body and psyche that the girls are having to enact.

    I would round out by saying, that in the US the pornography industry is still bigger than the car industry. It is also estimated that roughly one-half of the proceeds from the adult industry get ploughed into making child porn. So perhaps instead of putting his energies into campaigning against the enforced use of condoms in porn, Deen could more usefully dedicate his energies to campaigning against this darker side of his chosen profession.

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    1. PART 1

      Anonymous
      Sorry for the delay. I had been dealing with wrist pain so, I had been away for a bit. Thank you for the thought out reply.
      I think you are responsibilizing Deen for the misogyny of the pornography industry. He is not responsible for that; and his work can be seen as part of a broader attempt to enquire into female desire and sexual disinhibition.
      ----------------I would never suggest that Deen is solely responsible. This post spotlights him, but in no way do I think he is the only contributing actor.

      What is refreshing about James Deen and the women who direct his feminocentric films, is that they do not try to unpick what is pleasure due to sociological conditioning or pleasure due to innate natural desire. They just ask the girl what she is into, and he does it. That signals a pretty healthy reversal to me.
      -----------I’m not as familiar with his work as you seem to be. What little I’ve seen has not resembled this at all. I believe what you are telling me; however, what I’ve seen is proof that he’s capable of the norm. There are many feminists in the pro-porn camp that speak to feminocentric films, but slight shifts do not cancel out the fact that sex is captured on film for pay and that the films are largely geared towards the heterosexual male, who most likely enjoys the idea of the insatiable woman. Role reversals are great in that they suggest that there are other options, however, the socio-political aspects are still there.

      If we are going to condemn Deen - ask yourself the alternative. It may well be that the girl asking him to slap her in the face needs therapy - that she is a victim of abuse or of skewed ideas linking expressions of her own sexuality to humilation and bullying. Patriarchy and phallocentric renditions of sexuality may well have warped her natural sexuality. But if she can't pull herself up by the hair to know what her natural sexuality would have been had she not been so refracted - it is a tall order for Deen to try and
      discern how to raise her consciousness in this way.
      ----------I wouldn’t suggest that Deen or any other porn actor needs to raise a woman’s consciousness. I don’t see how that is possible within pornography.

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    2. yeah, my wrist gets sore as well

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  2. PART 2

    He describes himself as a prop - he is an actor in the same way that these women are - not a clinical psychologist attempting to give them an epiphane or self-revelation.
    ----------I too have read Deen describe himself as a prop. Men are indeed often props in porn and that is because male viewers are less interested in viewing the male performer so much as the female whose job it is to love everything that is being done to her, and to present herself as a toy that is always willing. That is why the focus is on the woman and men are simply props.

    You are right in that porn is not meant to be an exploration of why the women are making the choices they are making. Porn isn’t about that. The epiphane and self-revelation as you say is something that is denied and deemed unnecessary.

    Sometimes an industry can only change from the inside-out. By bringing the focus of sex away from the phallus and onto female pleasure, Deen is hardly doing us a disservice. The two main erotic zones for a woman are 1) her mind and 2) her clitoris. By demonstrating to other guys who watch porn just how amazing sex can be by focusing on these two areas, he is helping so many women.
    ---------- I’m not so much concerned with the industry changing as I am the fact that the industry exists. I hear what you say about a focus on a woman’s desire. While that shows a glimpse of improvement, the fact remains that it is still porn.

    If you want to insist in an essentialist way, that any man who is having sex with a woman for reasons other than love - for example that she is being paid - is committing rape - ie. bypassing that woman's desire or willingness to have sex by paying them to consent to be raped - then I would urge you to bear in mind Deen's refusal to have sex when there was any question of the girl's unwillingness - even if that is just built into the plot of the film.
    ---------------I don’t think that he is raping or near-raping anyone. Also; I don’t doubt that there are plenty of women who love sex-work. My view is that this desire is guided by patriarchal influences.

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  3. PART 3

    He is very attractive to a lot of women, they fancy him - so their urges towards him may be authentic and that is the implicit message coming across in his films - that women are choosing to engage in intimacy with him. This is a world-away from seeing some patriarchal thrusting stereotype giving it to a girl whether she likes it or not - and reading that unhealthy dislocation of body and psyche that the girls are having to enact.
    --------------I’ve seen plenty of scenes where he is indeed thrusting in a stereotypical way. If some of his films have a feminist bent, it is clear that he doesn’t insist upon that in all of his films. There are plenty of women who enthusiastically enjoy porn and plenty of women (even within the feminist community – a community that I am a part of) who enjoy Deen’s films. I don’t doubt that their attraction is authentic. What is on the screen is not authentic. It is not authentic intimacy. The women may be enjoying themselves but true intimacy? Porn voids that out.

    I would round out by saying, that in the US the pornography industry is still bigger than the car industry. It is also estimated that roughly one-half of the proceeds from the adult industry get ploughed into making child porn. So perhaps instead of putting his energies into campaigning against the enforced use of condoms in porn, Deen could more usefully dedicate his energies to campaigning against this darker side of his chosen profession.
    ------------A good point, Anonymous. Very interesting.
    Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate the civility and interest.

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    1. He's a rapist jerk stupid boring his body is nothing. Waste of space he's a PIG

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    2. Wowie, Marla. Thank you for your feedback, but we certainly differ here. I'm not sure why you think he's a rapist. You are certainly entitled to your opinion, and thank you for sharing it, but I must say, that a "waste of space" is definitely a hateful and damning statement. I think even the oppressive can have their own set of values -- they can love and be loved -- they have their own graces and vulnerabilities. I maintain that his line of work is harmful, but I won't go so far as to say that he is worthless.

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  4. PS person who wrote this article you're "the bomb" thank
    God for you! Hail hail feminism humanism!

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    1. Thank you for your good favor. I'm glad that you got something from my post. What's interesting is that the more I protest pornography, the more I seek to listen to the voices of pro-porn feminists. It can be quite painful, but I have always listened and will continue to do so.

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  5. I disagree with this: "The truth is; within a mutual respectful relationship, both parties give and both parties receive. It’s not one or the other. One is not dominant and the other is not submissive." That statement exudes ignorance about how dom/sub relationships work. Truly compatible dom/sub relationships aren't so different from "vanilla" ones. Both parties do give and receive, and it's because they are mutually respectful that they lend that side of themselves to their partner. Trust and open communication are essential, and when either fails, so does the relationship. Subs give doms what they want (within their hard limits), and doms give subs what they need to feel happy and secure in the relationship. Subs can top and doms can bottom, if that's what the dom wants. Subs aren't the only ones who can be vulnerable. Obviously things can turn bad if the dom doesn't care about meeting the sub's needs, but that happens in any relationship when one person gets selfish.

    Dominance is not inherently influenced by patriarchy, although in most societies it is considered a masculine trait. You have to take into account that in dom/sub relationships, the male isn't always the dominant one. Just because it isn't as common (meaning it won't be equally represented in porn) doesn't mean it should be put on the back burner.

    I don't understand you can so easily call yourself anti-porn. Yes, the porn industry is expanding, but being completely anti-porn seems a bit ridiculous to me. Not all porn is misogynistic. Sex (in porn or real life) doesn't equal intimacy, and some women are completely okay with that. Some men aren't. Ideally, people would keep an open mind. What it boils down to is that women and men are going to like what they like, whether it's influenced by patriarchy or not. The best one can do is make others aware of the choices they are making.

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  6. -Anonymous,

    Thank you for the feedback, and thank you for offering it in a civil and constructive manner.

    I am quite familiar with the information you provided about BDSM relationships. I personally have a difficult time accepting the sexualization of violence.

    I know that porn has traveled outside of mainstream. There are various types of porn and I can easily admit that some is better than others. Better doesn't mean good, in my view.

    And yes, I am aware that not all sex equates to intimacy. Casual sex has always existed.

    I agree that people will like what they like regardless of patriarchal influences; but if a person recognizes the sociopolitical affects of pornography, one's fantasies might migrate elsewhere. Maybe, maybe not.

    You speak of keeping an open mind. I think having an open mind doesn't mean that a person should accept anything that comes their way.

    I keep an open mind by listening to others who oppose my view. Thanks for adding your two cents, Anonymous!

    ~Lady J

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    1. This is extremely delayed but I would just like to add my own little bit re BDSM relationships. As someone who has participated in these types of relationships, I can tell you that not all of them involve sexualized violence, or violence of any kind. I have been in ones that do involve occasional scenes with spanking, whipping, bondage, etc, but I have also been in ones where the biggest kink was verbal bondage (in that relationship my partner was male and the submissive.) They can be perfectly loving relationships with a power imbalance that is agreed upon through hours and hours of discussion about everything from your relationship with your family, relationship history, all the way down to what body parts are ticklish. I'm not saying that you think that all BDSM relationships are violent, but I think that is one very common misconception. In the nonviolent relationship described above, my partner enjoyed the part of our relationship where I would set limits and rules and tasks for him, and in return for their completion he would get rewards, anything from him laying with his head in my lap while I stroked his hair, to things of a sexual nature. He was, for all intents and purposes, but what I understand your definition to be, submissive, because by societal convention he technically gave more than I did. The thing is, in both of our views, the rewards and structure I gave him were equal to if not a greater contribution than him following those rules. I'm not saying this is true for everyone, this is just my experience with this particular relationship.

      As mentioned above, I have also been in relationships where the BDSM aspect was purely sexual, and only when we both wanted to act on those urges, and in all other aspects we were complete equals. I was submissive in that relationship, and I loved it. I happen to be wired to find pain enjoyable. Additionally, I have been having submissive fantasies since before I really understood what they meant, I don't believe it's really something that has been influenced by the patriarchy. I discovered that I enjoyed pain before I even knew what BDSM was, and at first I was confused because I thought it "wasn't normal," I even went and discussed it with a therapist - not because I was abused in any way or need therapy as one above commenter suggested - but because I wanted to have an impartial party to discuss it with as I was sorting through my new thoughts and experiences, and ultimately what I realized was that this is just part of who I am, it's how I was wired, just like some people are born gay, I was born kinky. Again, I was not abused, physically, emotionally, or sexually at any point in my life so before anyone jumps to say that that is my motivation, I don't need therapy to deal with that, I just need a loving partner who has complementary wants and needs in a relationship. I don't believe that you think that there is necessarily something wrong with my consensual enjoyment or that it makes me mentally ill or some of the other horrible things I've heard some anti-porn (and at times anti-sex) feminists, and I completely respect your right to be uncomfortable with the sexualization of violence, as I said earlier I'm simply sharing my experiences.

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    2. (same anon as above, my comment was too long for one post apparently)

      Note: in reading a comment I saw a few posts down about how "just because you like or enjoy sexual violence doesn't make it right or excuse you doing it" and I would argue that saying that safe, sane, and consensual (the foundation of BDSM) behavior people enjoy isn't right shames people who do enjoy this and adds to societal stigmas that can be damaging to the mental health of people who are going through self exploration and realization. Similar arguments have been made about homosexuality, but I'm guessing that commenter would argue against anyone who says that homosexuality is wrong. If we are going to empower women, LGBTQAIU individuals, shaming them is not the way to do so, and the same is true with people who enjoy kink.

      I don't view submissiveness as inherently female, nor do i consider dominance inherently male as I know plenty of people who are male submissives or female dominants - and this includes the host of transgender individuals in my community. I've actually found that the BDSM community is one of the most open and accepting I've ever met, and they are extremely focused on safety and equality. I would also argue that a woman being able to ask for what she wants, have a discussion beforehand in which she lays out her ground rules and limits and he does the same, and enjoy the scene she's filming is not degrading, but again that's just my opinion. Furthermore, I think the act of being the dominant and fulfilling those wishes isn't "being paid to hate women" by any stretch of the imagination, but maybe my experience with the BDSM community and the respect I see among my peers has colored my opinion in that way. I am also at times non-monogamous depending on my partner, and that I believe has also helped form my opinions. My relationships are based first and foremost on open and healthy communication, honesty, respect for limits and boundaries, and love. I know many monogamous couples who are, for all intents and purposes, completely vanilla, and they do not have the same level of healthy communication that I am used to in my relationships. This is not me judging monogamy, I believe whatever works for you and makes you healthy and happy is what you should pursue, I'm just - again - giving a little more info as to where my opinions come from.

      It's after 3am here so I'm sorry if this was a bit rambly and didn't make complete sense but I wanted to get it out before I forgot what I had to say. I just want to reiterate that while I am sex positive, believe in sex work, and generally don't agree with you on some of your opinions in this article, I respect them and appreciate that you took the time to write about your thoughts and share them with us. Thank you for your time :)

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  7. Great article. Nice to see a woman who doesn't hold Deen to different standard than other performers because he looks cute. I happened upon a fawning James Deen article that pissed me off because of their ignorance. I found this while looking for another that I saw a while back as I wanted to post my view on the subject there also, to hopefully add a bit of truth to all the bullshitting that is taking place. I don't know anything about your blog or your views, but I'm pretty sure we won't see eye to eye on many things.

    My views on the "good guy project" article:

    I always laugh when I see articles like this about James Deen. "Good guy pornstar." I think you females cherry pick what scenes of his you watch. Probably he's toned down a bit recently to line up with this image, but how I first got to know him was through seeing him in some films, and noticing how much more violent than the other guys he tended to be. Of course I had to find out who he was so I could see him dish out this service to other girls. There are a few male actors like that, and they're generally demonized for doing the exact same things he does, but because he's cute & innocent looking somehow those scenes of his seem to be an illusion that women don't see haha. No doubt he has some charm and connection to go along with it, but alot of times I've seen him just straight choke or seriously slap the shit our of a girl like a maniac while other guys were fucking her, just for the fun of it.

    "James Deen the woman beater", as one director joked in a gangbang video. Much truth is said in jest. It summarized all that I saw of him up to then. That's how I got to know him, "I have to see some more videos of him beating the fuck out of these girls haha." It's why I like him, and other guys like dirty harry, Brandon Iron, Nacho (the latin psycho lol!) and the facilitators like Khan Tusion, Max,etc. Needless to say I was awfully surprised at seeing articles like this about Mr. Deen. Lmao. Like I said, he's probably toned it down a bit to cater to this image you all have somehow contrived to paint of him, but I was left wondering if you were takling about the same person I knew and loved lol.

    Futhermore:

    Tbh, I know what's right and wrong. It's obvious that in many of the videos the girls get pretty banged up and abused. They're basically like crash test dummies that the guys can do whatever the f*ck they want with for a period of time. The truth is many get much worse treatment that prostitutes. If most had other alternatives they saw as viable, or didn't suffer trauma in their own lives they wouldn't be doing that. I think about a recent video I saw with Nacho Vidal and Kara Sweet. I could imagine her face was swollen sore as fuck after that. They so often take a LITERAL beating, like a damn punching bag lol! Tbh I ENJOY WATCHING IT. But what I don't like is DISHONESTY. Just be honest and say, "look, this is fucked up and wrong, but we enjoy it, the viewers do, and she needs the money & is fucked in the head & is willing to do it, so lets go."

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  8. (Part 2)

    It's why I like Brandon Iron. He's brutally honest like that. Even Khan Tusion. Mr. Iron in an interview explained it like this, "I tell the girls, look, you're going to have the WORST 15 MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE, but I'm going to pay you." He then proceeds to beat and choke and roughly abuse their innards as much as he can without maiming them permanently. When I see articles about the "good guys of porn" and shit like that, I think back to Mr. Iron again. As he says, "porn is a scummy business." It ultimately is about what pleasures males, as males are sexual gluttons who make up the majority of the porn market. They have a more ever present, and devilish desire than women, which has been known since the beginning of time, contrary to all the feminist bullshit that's being thrown about these days. And what do they want to see? After looking at porn for a long time, you want to see shit more and more extreme. You go to anal(I remember when I first started watching, that was totally uninteresting & wasn't even arousing), then to dp, gangbangs, then double anal, then straight facial abuse and Khan Tusion,etc. That's the market. So why do the girls go along with things as they get more and more extreme? Because they need the money, and are just fucked in the head. Its why there's a constant stream of beautiful girls willing to have anything DONE TO THEM (go watch some of Max's or Nacho's videos & tell me the women aren't passive receivers lol), as they become more and more extreme. So many are just reduced to fleshy bags to be internally and externally beaten about now.

    Ms. Katja Kassin is going to college and got out of porn for a while, saying she had many bad experiences, it was a bad chapter, blah blah blah. She's now back in, and is she saying those same things now? No. Most won't speak against what feeds them, especially if they don't have many other options. There are always the badasses like Mr. Iron who are exceptions to the rule. Well I'm not dependant on the biz, so I can say it's scummy and wrong. It's only when you honestly acknowledge a problem, that there's any hope of solving it. It's fucked up, but fuck me I enjoy it. Me and many others.

    (Off to setup my own offBeatr campaign to bring back my man Steve French to f*ck up another girl even worse than he did to Alex Devine in the famous "Donkey Punch" series. Directed by Khan Tusion, produced by Max Hardcore. Featuring Nacho Vidal. That would be some video.)
    "Porn is a scummy business."

    With honesty, hopefully some girls won't have a false illusion about what porn is, & can avoid being part of this future shoot & having to come running to everyone after, telling of how terrible it was.

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    1. Obvious troll is obvious.... And you are very obvious!

      For people who don't know any better, looking upon this god-awful comment, just because you may like and enjoy sexual violence, does not make it right or should excuse you doing it. Just as a person may like/enjoy hurting themselves (a.k.a cutting, anyone lol) does not make it right or excuse you doing it.

      And yes, Anon, fine, we get it! You like stuff that are obviously very disrespecting to women in porn, but most people I find try to align their interest with stuff they know aren't bad, and I find nothing wrong with a blogger trying to advocate that and help people who rather view material that is respectful to everyone.

      Plus, your comment just goes on to prove just how misogynistic the porn industry is, and why it needs some serious changes in it, or it's just going to get worse. If this is your argument against this post..... no offence, but it's really bad! >___< But, than again, you're trolling sooo.






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  9. Anonymous,

    Thanks for your thoughts. Yes, you are right, there are many things we don't see eye to eye on. Too many to address.

    I should say, however, there are plenty of women who are very familiar with the type of porn you describe and lap it up with gusto. Many who admire Deen are aware that he performs for kink and humiliation sites. For those who you say cherry pick what scenes they, watch--they can certainly do that. These women (or men) can do what they will to make their own fantasies work. This doesn't change my anti-porn stance of course, but I think it unfair to shame a person for choosing a tamer version of Deen. Additionally, I will state that I do not intend to shame those who view porn, but rather challenge patriarchal saturation.
    ~Lady J

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  10. I'd like to eat his ass.

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  12. "She smacked me in the face while we were having sex and I laughed and said ‘That was cute’. I mean, I then held her down and choked her until she apologized and begged me to fuck her again, but first I said ‘That was cute’ and laughed." James Deen

    And they say that this guy is a nice, sensitive man??
    o_0

    Outside of that though, he's really no different than many men I've seen in porn, in looks and views. I really don't the big deal. Weird how people like him randomly become popular, but it happens.

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  13. Missy Me,
    From what I can tell, Deen has two different but seemingly overlapping personae. He does a lot of BDSM films, where the themes aren't the nicest.

    I think it's impossible to escape the influence of degradation within porn when this is what a person does daily. When you're paid to hate women, you end up seeing life through that lens.

    Thanks for the input.
    ~Lady J

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  14. It's people like you who make even women hate feminists.. You're beyond ridiculous. You give "judgmental" new meaning, and quite frankly should be ashamed of yourself. Negativity seems to be the only thing supplying your drive, so here's some for you; End yourself, the world doesn't need anymore hatred.

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  15. End myself? I think THAT is "negativity" isn't it? Is that truly who you are? You want me to commit suicide? I don't hate anyone, and although, there are differences in belief, I am committed to listening to pro-porn feminists. I've never known such a dark heart. A being who would like someone to end their life. THAT is hate, isn't it? It is contradictory as you just stated that "the world doesn't need anymore hatred." I'm confused. I'm sorry, I don't know how to relate to this.

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