getting your point across without ego

Today's message from Eckhart Tolle.

Dear Friends,

The words of today's quote are attributed to the Buddha:

"In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased
striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves".

This is a helpful pointer for our everyday presence-practice. Can you catch yourself angrily defending your point of view or attacking the other person's? There's the ego.

... Once you take the 'self' out of your mental positions, you can still forcefully state your viewpoint, but without violence. Or you can drop the whole thing. (Many controversies are merely exercises in self-seeking and completely pointless.)

Be well, be at peace.
Eckhart.

As a blogger and a blog follower I am no stranger to angry comments/feedback. I rarely add my two cents to another person's blog as I often find blogs filled to the brim with angry, out for blood, unintelligent comments. I find that those who put in their two or three cents are rarely seeking dialogue but simply wish to prove that they are some how RIGHT.

I often think that there are many who feel powerful behind their computers just as so many feel powerful behind the wheel of their cars. I believe that some of those who speak angrily and disrespectfully, would not feel as comfortable if they weren't behind a screen where no one can see them.

I am imperfect however, thus far, I have been able to stay away from attacking others in person and on line. I dislike the feeling of anger and I dislike being on the receiving end of anger. I appreciate what I consider to be good communication.

I was raised by two individuals who were unable to communicate well. Whether by silence or by volume, my parents found it impossible to simple say, "When you do ____, I feel ____. I need you to ___".

It is true that those who have raised us are our prime examples of communication, however, as we age we are exposed to other agents. Friends, family, acquaintances, strangers, the media. In my experience, the yelling and spitting and spraying doesn't get us anywhere. Afterward we feel the remnants of our anger on a physical and emotional level. Why would we sign up for more?

Thank you Echkart Tolle for the reminder.

For more information on Eckhart Tolle visit his official website here.