The debate about whether men should be involved within the feminist movement is not new, however, as of late the topic has been given particular attention due to the outlash towards feminist and gender studies professor, Hugo Schwyzer.
I've followed the work of Schwyzer for many years now and consider him an "internet friend." What I mean to say is that we've emailed, we've conversed over facebook, at that is that.
Here's the nutshell. Two months ago Schwyzer re-posted an old piece, telling the story of how in 1998, he had attempted to kill himself and an ex-girlfriend, while on drugs. This lead to an uproar within the feminist blogosphere. There is a LOT more that is involved in this story; including his resignation from The Good Men Project and the Healthy is the New Skinny project. To get a good summary of these events, read The Atlantic piece entitled, "Exile in Gal-Ville: How a Male Feminist Alienated His Supporters."
This is what I have learned about Hugo Schwzyzer over the years. He's a husband, a father, a feminist, a Christian, a gender studies professor, a vegan, a humus connoisseur and a lover of chinchillas. He's also an incredibly kind, witty, intelligent and humble man. I've never sat in one of his classrooms, but I can tell you that the man has taught me a lot and he has done it all with patience and grace.
One thing is for sure, the man has been through a LOT. He's faced many a difficulty and has triumphed. He has never lost sight of his journey and considers himself a man who continues to learn and evolve. In the past he has hurt himself in many ways and has emotionally hurt others.
He is a man who writes, not just about what the thinks, but very much about what he's lived. Schwyzer makes no excuses for himself and he has gifted us with honesty. The naysayers (and there are many) believe that individuals cannot change, cannot feel remorse, cannot make amends and should not be involved in feminist arenas. The hatred spewed at Schwyzer has gone from angry words, to angry threats to angry words and angry threats towards his family and friends. What is feminist about that? Schwyzer's opposers want him to step down, back away, shut his mouth and quit.
It was just tonight that I posed some questions and thoughts his way.
"Would you tell Tim Wise that he should stop talking about racism simply because he's white? Many have, and he's not listening to them. He understands that he's in a place of privilege and he acknowledges it just as you do. Even though he comes from a place of white privilege it is GOOD that a white male is trying to do such good work. You are a male and it is GOOD that you are doing such work. The debate about whether men should participate in the feminist movement as you do, is one that isn't going to go away. It will continue whether you continue to be a public figure in feminism or not. Ultimately, you need to do what's best for you, but I know that you greatly enjoy being a gender studies professor. Why stop doing what you love? It's YOUR life, not theirs. We have a short life. Not all of us get to do what we love. It's great when part of our daily routine includes something we've worked so hard towards. Don't deprive yourself of that. Your past is what it is. It can't be changed. And you have grown from it, which is clear in your writing. You use your life experiences to evolve and help others. Isn't that what we all should do? I don't care how checkered a person's past; we all can move forward and shouldn't be told we can never move beyond it. We cannot be caged in that way. I know this is taking its toll on you, Hugo. I know I am someone who is on the outside looking in. So, you may think it's too easy for me to say these things, being that I am not in your skin. True. But I would hate to see you step away from something you love so deeply. I imagine it'd be difficult to make such an alteration in your life. To go on teaching knowing that you've eliminated something so profound."
At this point and time Schwyzer has not made any definite decisions as to how he will proceed from here. I hope that he can find peace in whatever he chooses to do.
This swampy mess around Schwyzer has leaked over into a neighboring argument. What role should men have within feminism? As mentioned earlier, this argument is not new, but one that has taken center stage as of late.
It boggles my mind that there are feminists who believe that men should not be involved. Patriarchy consists of a dominating male view. As women, we want this to change, yes? So, why would we ban men from this movement? If sexism didn't exist, there would be no need for a movement. The word feminism wouldn't need exist.
I've met men who have explained to me that they feel there is little room for them within feminism. This breaks my heart. I agree with Bell Hooks, who has asserted in her written works, that one of the failures of feminism is that it has often pushed men away. I understand the hurt and anger of my fellow sisters. But lashing out at men does not heal the heart. In Ms. Hooks' text, "Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center", she tells us that men are our "comrades in struggle." I agree whole heartedly.
Feminism is often referred to as "women's issues". This is a stab to the heart. Feminism is an issue for all and unfortunately, the masses do not see it that way. Feminist women who ban men from feminist spaces are indeed promoting the idea that feminism is a woman's issue. Chick problems. This is backward thinking and backward action. Some of the naysayers against Schwyzer have earnestly stated that it is not men in feminism that bothers them but feminist men who drown out the voices of feminist women. Men, in the spotlight rather than women in the spotlight.
Schwyzer has never been one to overshadow women. He recognizes his place of privilege as a man and understands how important it is to keep this in mind. I do not shame the women who think certain men needn't exist within feminist, but I do question their logic. I do not think that these women are ill willed and I give the benefit of the doubt that they are thinking people. I do however, believe this type of mentality is damaging and skewed.
One of the best ways to learn is by doing. So accept men as gender studies teachers, accept them as writers, accept them as speakers, respect them for doing what they love. Should Schwyzer have avoided learning about women's studies? Should have forgone his passion? Anyone who thinks they should have that kind of control over someones life harbors a lot of arrogance and perhaps a lot of hurt. I do not dismiss women who have difficulty moving forward and beyond pain. But who should have such power over another? He's got a penis, ladies. Don't make him feel bad for that.
One of the many reasons I am a feminist, is because I love men. This is not to say that those who oppose Schwyzer, do not love men. What I mean to say is that I recognize the huge role men play in our lives. Not just from patriarchy but from love. For heterosexual women men are lovers and partners. For all of us, they are our fathers, our brothers, our co-workers, our friends and strangers among us .
Men are in our lives and they have feelings too. Don't we want the best for each other? We share this earth; how can we not? How can we tell feminist men that they should take a back seat and not thrive? Why can't they ride along side of us? They can indeed be our allies. And if a few of them happen to have a public platform, we should be applauding.
It's unfortunate if more men are willing to listen to another man talk about feminism simply because he is a man. That is privilege. But perhaps those listening men will then be that trickle in the pond and enlighten other men and encourage them to do some soul searching.
A recent article from The Good Men Project, entitled, "Dear Egalitarian Feminists", offered quoted comments that were made in response to The Atlantic article, I mentioned earlier. What I am posting below are conversational quotes that come directly from the GMP post.
“The one comment that stood out the most to me is Zoe Nicholson’s that men’s ideal involvement in the feminist movement is as passive actors. “Behind,” “underneath,” “away,” men’s thoughts are irrelevant, they just need to give/raise money and stay out of the way. Is she right about this?"
“Yes, she is. The society we live in values the voices of men over women, so feminism needs to be a place where women’s voices are paramount. If men want to share their thoughts and feelings, there’s the whole rest of the world to do that in. Feminism is for women. ”
“Yes, it’s women’s responsibility once again to reach out to the menz. Not that of men to get off their behinds and fight sexism. Fail. ”
“Not my job to convince a man to be a decent human being if his parents failed. Also, given that society encultures women to cater to men in every other arena, I don’t give a damn if men feel hurt at being “excluded” by feminism. It’s not about them. Deal. ”
“No, I don’t care what men have to say about feminism. They can have a say in feminism when women get to have a say in the patriarchy. ”
So, what are men supposed to do? I hear no suggestions. Obviously what is offered here are just a few quotes, but what I have read over time has not provided any sound theory as to what men can do to contribute to feminism. Anger doesn't make for a progressive dialogue. I am not suggesting that women should silence or muffle their anger and hurt, but I think that sometimes anger blinds.
As a woman, I can tell you that patriarchy is almost always on my mind in some form or another. I'm exposed to it every single day. I see it all around me, and I feel it. I work actively in rebelling against it.
Men in feminism, see it too, and feel it in ways that are different from the way we do. But they want to involve themselves in something that is more than just "a good cause." I think it's great if a feminist man thinks to himself, "What can I do? How can I be a part of this?" Sure there's a lot of backstage work to be done, but I don't believe a man should limit himself to that if he feels he can do more.
The feminist men I admire are not feminists so they can garner fame. They are feminists because they want to help others and themselves. As long as these men are humble, I am all for their service.
Hugo Schwyzer, Jackson Katz, Micheal Kimmel, Robert Jensen (and so many more) are the type of men I want in my corner. Their lecture halls are filled with men and women alike. Are the women who sit listening intently all fools? Are they misguided? Should they walk out of the room and seek only women speakers, authors, professors, activists? Why limit ourselves?
In Jackson Katz' book, "The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help", he tells us, "In fact, a lot of women actually feel grateful when men they know emerge as strong allies. When a man -- in a group of friends, in a classroom, in the media -- voices an objection to sexist portrayals of women in pornography, pop music, or other forms of media, or if he speaks out in support of victims of domestic violence or sexual assault, women will often praise his sensitivity and thank him for caring. This speaks volumes about how low women's expectations are of the average guy."
Agreed. I believe that those who are angry with Schwyzer should not let the actions of one man convince them that men have no place in feminism. Is that how we should raise our sons? To teach them that they have no real place within this powerful and oh so necessary movement?
I am not angry with Scwhyzer. I continue to be an admirer of his work and he as a man. Humility is a quality I favor in my own life and one that I always strive for. So, it makes sense that I like to see it in others.
Let us not assume to understand Schwyzer's journey or shame him for working through it in his own way. He has gifted us with his stories and he has had to go through the process of grief for some of his actions and hopefully self forgiveness. It is not up to us to let him off the hook. That is not anyone's job. Too many people are damning him to a life time of shame and that is not only arrogant but also not in keeping with the feminism that I support.
If the feminist men were eliminated from the world, there would never be such a thing as equality. We would remain stagnant under the cloud of patriarchy. And if we take time to catch our breath, and examine closely just what it is that male feminist public figures are doing, we can see that they have no interest in standing before us, but rather with us. I believe this to be true. With all that I am, I believe this to be true.
Go Team Hugo.
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