The documentary is set in New York and follows the stories of three transitioning FTM males. In the film 22 year old Nicco, 29 year old Norie and 22 year old Keegan, speak of their experiences as FTM men and their desire for support from their families, friends, partners and LGBTQI communities. The film also features voices of activists, theorists, doctors and lesbian individuals.
The film covered a variety of aspects. All three young men spoke about the financial aspect of receiveing top surgery (removal of breast tissue). All three men had bound their breasts with ACE bandages and sports bras, and they each expressed how that felt for them. Keegan mentioned that it at times felt liberating to see a flat chest but through the duration of the day the binding became extremely painful. He also expresses the view that there is a class factor when it comes to surgery as the surgery is very expensive.
There is also mention of how hormone treaments are available on the streets and can be purchased illegally. Infected needles can result in HIV/AIDS.
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| Norie being bound by his girlfriend |
During the film there was a discussion about T (testosterone) and if some FTM individuals decide to use it too early in life. Early in the film Keegan reports that he thinks he passes as a boy and others treat him as such but when he speaks his voice does not sound like a sterotypical male. He explained how those he may be speaking to appear to be confused or perhaps may even feel embarassed and apologetic as they realize he is a biological female.
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| Nicco Injecting T |
Keegan went onto say that he didn't feel like he needed to use T and he felt comfortable as he was. He didn't come from the idea that if he didn't use T that he would some how be less of a man.
Later in the film 15 months had passed and Keegan's voice was much deeper. He reported that he had been using T for 8 months at that point. He said that he began using T "because of no apparent reason and that felt really good." He explained that it wasn't as if he was jotting down the pros and cons, but rather, he says. "I just calmed myself and when the time or a time came, I decided it was something I really wanted to do."
Norie talks about how top surgery gave him more confidence and that he feels he'll be more assertive and involved.
An interesting part of Norie's story is that his girlfriend is featured and she gives insight to her side of things. She talks about how there is a part of Norie that she feels that she has lost and that she misses.
All three young men discussed how trans individuals aren't always invluded in the LGBTQI community. That there is this thought that comes from lesbian women especially, that trans men feel that they are so butch that they may as well go all the way. That they are so unhappy with being a butch female that they decide they want to be male..and that it's trendy to do so. These theories are not in keeping with the feminism that speaks to self-determination and personal autonomy.
Keegan spoke earnestly about how he does not fit into a box and resents that there are certain ideas as to what "butch" is and what a "man" is.
In the film Judith “Jack” Halberstam, a gender studies professor from The University of Southern California offered the opinion that, "The FTM feminism debate is still about a deep suspicion of masculinity within feminism and it gets played our not only in relationship to trans but in relationship to butchness as well."
The professor goes on to say, "the problem on the trans end to my mind is sort of a rigid identity politics that gets played out. The problem on the feminism end is that there is still a deep misunderstanding of what the meaning of masculinity in relationship to non-male bodies might be."
Quotes are displayed throughout the film and one in particular stood out for me. The quote is from author Hanne Blank. "Feminism has been fighting for generations against the notion that biology doesn't equal destiny. Do we really believe it?"
I believe in rights for trans indivduals and I believe in acceptance. It hurts me that not only does discrimination exist within the straight world but also within the LGBTQI community.
I am posting the documentary here. Form your own opinions. Enjoy.
Boy I Am
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
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