It's not about being male. It's about being older and wiser.

 (source)

Living in a world where a man thinks he needs to "act" like a man, "man up", or "be a man", is stressful and hurtful and dangerous. It is all these things for a man and it is all these things for a woman.

Suggesting that one's gender must live up to society's box, is a sure way to suffer. From the moment a boy is born, he is set to enter a world where he will be expected to play with trucks and army soldiers. Expected to be tough on the playground, expected to fight, expected to defend his heterosexuality or hide his homosexuality. Men are bred to deny their authentic self, whatever that might be.

The women in their lives learn to downplay their own desires and accept that their father, friend, lover is simply -- being a man. It's the old, "boys will be boys", excuse. 

When feminist and gender studies professor; Hugo Schwyzer, was writing for The Good Men Project, he wrote an important piece called, "The Opposite of 'Man' is 'Boy', Not 'Woman'". The piece speaks to performance of masculinity.

My mind darted to the memory of this article when I read author Shawn Maxam's, "How Boys Give Men a Bad Name."   Maxam essentially explains that it is maturity that assists a male as they grow.

I'd like to think that as we age, we also grow. I'm sure we've all met individuals who seem to have the same level of maturity as they did when they were in jr. high. But let's offer up the hope that men want to evolve as people and not as males.

Below is a list of traits and attributes which Maxam believes distinguishes men from boys.

1. Boys objectify women. Men admire the beauty of women.
2. Boys can make children. Men want to raise children.
3. A Boy tries to impress his friends. A Man only needs to impress himself (self-validation)
4. Boys like to talk. Men know it’s important to listen.
5. Boys have temper tantrums. Men control their tempers.
6. Boys are mad at the world. Men acknowledge that we live in a mad world.
7. Boys are concerned with what they can get. Men are concerned with what they can give.
8. Boys cheat, lie to their wives and disappoint their kids. Men practice discipline, will-power and abide by their word.
9. Boys hit women and children. Men hit no one.
10. Boys want others to fear them. Men are brave enough to face their own fears.

Men will fail just as PEOPLE fail. This list is what we want for women as well. The difference is that men are raised to compete, to be rewarded for anger and aggression, and to do anything that is considered feminine. 

This is patriarchy in action. Men, I am sorry that patriarchy has hurt you just as it has rewarded you. You have male privilege but it damages your heart.