mare chrismas

(source)

Today is Christmas day. No doubt weeks leading up to this day have been exhausting for many of you. Shopping, cooking, baking, decorating, traveling and whatever else.

Christmas has been exhausting for me but in other ways. Being that I have semi-retired holidays means that I am most likely viewed as a hum bug. I enjoy the twinklie lights, a carol or two, the view and fragrance of a decorated pine tree, eggnog, hot chocolate or a Christmas party. However, I no longer exchange gifts, I often find putting up a tree for myself to be tedious as I know I'll have to deal with taking it down, and I stopped attending family holiday dinners several years ago.

So, how is Christmas exhausting for me? Well, having to explain to co-workers and others why I do not celebrate Christmas is something that comes up every year and it's quite tiring. I find myself either coming up with a quick lie that settles the inquiry from whomever is asking or I'll simply tell the truth, that I do not celebrate Christmas with my family.

I do not dislike my family however I am not close with them and I have decided to forego the traditional annual dinner. Unfortunately, I don't think one can do this and appear as if they are not taking a dramatic stance against Christmas and family. I find that it is quite the bold move to actually politely say, "no thank you, I'll be making other plans."

I volunteered to work on Christmas. I worked for only four hours which was nice. I currently work as a psychiatric social worker at a psychiatric hospital and therapeutic treatment center. I enjoyed my time with my patients. Not a one complained about being stuck in a mental ward on the holidays however I did find myself curious as to how they were affected or not affected.

After work I drove to the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf shop nearest to my home and purchased a large tea latte made from Lung Ching Dragonwell tea. It is a green tea that is apparently made in the West Lake district of Hangzhou China. It hit the spot.

I was surprised to see how many people were sitting in the shop, but then again it's not as though everyone celebrates Christmas. I was curious as to what everyone's plans were for the day.

It is still early in the day and I know that my friends have made big plans with their families. I do not feel that I am missing out on something special. I am quite content. Again, there is no ill will towards my family members or the Christmas holiday in general. However, when I have uttered the obligatory "Happy holidays" or "Merry Christmas", it has left a strange taste in my mouth. I realize that I do not really know what it is that I am saying.

What is Christmas? As a Christian I do not celebrate the day as the birth of Jesus as I do not really know if this is the day of his birth. For many Christmas is a day to be with family and friends. But why? Just cuz? Just because it's tradition? Perhaps I could go along with the flow and some of my readers may think I'm just an uptight hum bug but really I am quite sincere.

I think we often do and say things simply because it's tradition and to break tradition feels uncomfortable or seems absurd and out of the question. To break tradition means to go against the grain and to be left out from what the majority is deciding to do.

For me...since I do not believe in Santa, I do not celebrate today as the birth of Jesus, and I am not close with family and do not exchange gifts with friends...what's left? Well, I'll tell you. It's a day where I can enjoy the decorated streets and stores, I can enjoy the lights and I can simply allow those who truly celebrate Christmas to have their day.

Because the day means so much to so many, including the homeless, including the mentally ill, including the less fortunate, my thoughts are with them more than anyone else.

Many of the patients today wished me a Merry Christmas and I wished them the same. However, I was able to leave the psych ward and I am able to wear the day however I choose. The patients cannot do this. I felt quite helpless as I listened to the heavy hospital door shut behind me as I left.

Due to the Christmas season the activities staff helped the patients put up huge pieces of paper on the doors for the patients decorate. As I left the unit I looked up upon the door to the social work office that had previously been left blank. The words "mare chrismas" were written by a patient who apparently does not know how to spell. It put a smile on my face.

Mare Chrismas everyone!