When Art Hurts

I find myself to be very sensitive to paintings and photographs. The other day at work I came across an image of an orange that I had never seen before. The orange peel was hanging off of it in a spiral. I stared at the image for about two seconds before I had to turn away. I dared myself to look at it again, this time for one second. It was too much. I had no idea, all I could really do was speculate; theorize. Was it the color? Was it too bright? I have always preferred overcast days and cool weather. Did the orange color represent the sun? Did the spiraling of the peel represent unraveling of emotion and stability? I don't think so. I love oranges, I often take photographs of fruit and other food. I like the texture of orange peels, so what gives?

I frequently lay my eyes upon images that disturb me. It isn't until now that I am realizing just how often it happens. Sometimes the reasons are identifiable.When I'm perusing the internet sometimes I'll come across an image that conveys dusk. I can't stand dusk. Just the very idea of a sun descending with the light burning upon buildings and shadows created beneath; I don't handle it well.

Sometimes I'll land on an image that hurts so much that I have to cover it with my hand until I can click away. Art always provokes emotion. In fact anything we see provokes emotion. A building, a flower, an ant, a dog, a person. A color, a shade, a shape. I am very sensitive to all that I see and sometimes it becomes emotional overload -- overstimulation. What's a highly sensitive person to do?

When it comes to high sensitivity there are plenty of tests (which I have taken) to take and books to read. Existing within a world that misunderstands is something else. As an introvert (more specifically an INFJ - Introvert -Intuition - Feeling - Judging - 1% of the population) and a highly sensitive person, I often find it difficult to survive comfortably in work environments and crowded social situations. It is difficult because senses are heightened and sometimes that's painful when accompanied by others and sometimes it is even painful when alone. So, all five senses are subject to alarm at almost any given time.

According to Jim and Amy Hallows' article Highly Sensitive People, "Highly Sensitive People's systems are very porous, meaning that external stimuli seems to be more directly absorbed into their bodies. (It has been said that it is as if HSP "have no skin" to protect them from these outside stimuli.) Non-HSP generally are less porous and have natural defenses which defuse external stimuli thereby not directly impacting and overloading their nervous systems."

What I practice, is reframing. As a psychiatric social worker this is something I encourage patients to do when facing their struggles. I think many of us find it easier to preach than to practice. It takes practice, and it takes work. Especially when it comes to something in which we see something that causes an immediate reaction.

It's easier to walk away from or flinch or turn away from the sight of something ugly. Easier to allow oneself to forget than to investigate the reasoning behind our reactions. Sometimes I do just that. More and more though, I am attempting to process what I found so horrifying. It makes me uncomfortable and being the highly sensitive person I am, I often find my attempts to stick with the process to be physically painful. Worth the effort? Definitely. High sensitivity has its benefits but wouldn't it be better if we had more control over the things that hold us back?