Drew Barrymore 1995

I am a 30 year old woman but sometimes looking far behind me feels as though I'm not looking that far behind. When I was in high school there were two people whom I fantasized about being. I wanted to be either Courtney Love or Drew Barrymore. There's a lot I could say about my life then and my life now and how my fantasies relate but I'm going to skip it all.

I will however, say this. Although we all evolve inside and out (hopefully) I admit that I love the 1995 "look" of Drew Barrymore the most. The short blonde hair, the daisies in her hair, the thin eyebrows, milky skin and dark lips. Her attitude was a mix of childlike favor and tortured soul. When I was younger this is what I wanted to be. Quriky yet profound through tragedy. The odd thing is that this exactly who I was but instead of being happy with who I was, I felt like Barrymore was the public persona that I could relate to and she was the pretty version of what I thought I was and what I wanted to be. It seeemed that she was one of those tortured souls who was beautiful but didn't know it. I know that many many women my age felt the same.

I first saw Barrymore in Mad Love and the character felt close to home. From that point on I was hooked on Drew. But of course I am aware that what I admired was a very limited view of a woman. It was based on pictures, films and interviews. Those things could never encompass anyone.

It was at that time that I began crave film which served as an escapism. It wasn't just film but films that featured the tortured girl. High school was a long time ago; and as I mentioned earlier, not so long ago. I have indeed evolved since then; inside and out. Even so, there are remnants that have remained the same and there are certain aspects of this 1995 Barrmore that still remind me of me.

Below is a 1995 interview on The Late Late Show with Tom Synder. I loved the interview but I remember wondering why she appeared on such a show. I found Synder to be a terrible interviewer who lacked personality. Even so, I loved listening to Barrymore's views, her giggle, watching her play with her earlobes -- which I assumed was a nervous tick. I also enjoyed the overlapping thriftshop slip dresses that she wore during the interview and to the Batman Forever premiere.

Here she is speaking about particular experiences in her life and intermittently speaking about her then boyfriend Eric Erlandson, who just happened to be a part of my favorite band Hole. A band who's front woman was Courtney Love, my other idol at the time.

Drew Barrymore on The Late Late Show with Tom Snyder Part 1

Drew Barrymore on The Late Late Show with Tom Snyder Part 2