To the women like me, who don't wear make -up. Are we really appealing to man's ideal of beauty? To the women who wear make up. Are you really appealing to a man's ideal of beauty?

Earlier this year I wrote a post entitled, "I Don't Wear Make up. If I Did Would I be Less of a Feminist? I Say No." Well, just recently I read article about how men view women with make-up and what they think about a traditional style of beauty. I found the article to be quite intriguing. The article is titled, "On Men Who Don't Like Women in Make up" by Emily at XOJane. I'll get to that in a bit.

If you read my own post, you will learn about my little journey through the land of make-up. One thing I don't think I mentioned is how I have been perceived by men with and without make-up. Well, I don't know how I've been perceived with make-up. I've never been informed. I stopped wearing lipstick at the age of 17 and I stopped wearing eye shadow at 20.

Boyfriends and male friends alike have told me that they prefer a girl who doesn't wear too much make-up. I imagine it must be difficult and unpleasant to kiss a girl who is wearing lipstick or lip gloss. I also imagine it must be difficult to be with the kind of girl who feels uncomfortable or "naked" exiting the house without make-up.

And while, some men may say that they dislike make-up on the women they are interested in, what they aren't saying is that they are much more invested in a woman's concept of beauty than they tell us. In addition to that there is a misunderstanding about why a woman presents her way in whatever manner she wishes.

Not all women dress to impress. Not all women put on make-up so that they can receive the approval of men. This is not to say however, that this doesn't happen often. Just check out any "Women's Interest" magazine or "Men's Interest Magazine" at your local bookstore. A mag such as Cosmopolitan will suggest that women paint on a coat of lipstick that "will drive him wild" or "turn him on". A mag such as Maxim or GQ will suggest that a woman who appeals to the stereotypical ideal is type of woman that men should be appreciating and searching for.

Also, while some men may tell us that they prefer a girl wearing simple jeans and a white t-shirt, they may feel differently when out in public. To my knowledge I've never had a boyfriend feel the need to parade me around to his friends. I don't consider myself to be winning any Miss California sashes (thank God) but I assume the men who date me consider me to be attractive. I know that some men do like to show off their "hot girlfriend" in order to receive praise from their cronies. This has more to do with ego than genuine and humble pride in one's mate.

One might argue that this showing off of women has more to do with their bodies than what colors they are wearing on their faces. Perhaps this is true but many of the pinup or runway models that some men drool over are all wearing make up. Even if they present a "natural" look, they are wearing make-up. It's also important to note that the women on magazines who are wearing light shades of blush, eye shadow and lipstick are also airbrushed. So, if a man truly wants to see his girlfriend or wife with a natural look, then he must understand that to be truly natural means to allow the frown lines, freckles, creases, wrinkles, moles, pores, and whatever else ya got, to see the light of day.

Emily's  XOJane article, "On Men Who Don't Like Women in Make up" offers the idea that, "no one 'needs' makeup" and that she hates the notion that "makeup is something ugly women use to make themselves look less ugly"and that "makeup is about enhancing beauty, not covering up ugly." 

I agree and disagree. I think make-up can be an exploration of play and art. I also think that make-up can be a submission to patriarchal standards. I ALSO think that some women feel that they do need make-up to give up "ugly." It's unfortunate but true. I'm surprised the author missed this. I knew women in high school who wore make-up to cover up acne or pimples and I know women now who feel their skin tone is uneven so they wear make-up to give themselves a "finished look." There are plenty of women who believe that they are too old and make-up will rectify that in some way. So, for some make-up is about covering up what they find unsightly.

I remember watching a television show (it might have been Oprah) years ago where a woman would never let her husband see her without make-up. She'd go to bed with her make-up on and it would end up leaving smears of lipstick and eye liner on her pillow sheets. She'd wake up extra early each morning so that she could wash off the old make-up and put on a new coat. This way her husband would never see her natural state.

Now, not all women are this extreme with their view on aesthetic beauty, but there is a common belief that make-up is necessary to impress others. As mentioned earlier, it is possible for women to wear make-up because they enjoy it, however, there is always the question as to whether patriarchy has influenced this desire.

Emily hit some good notes in her article when she tell us that, 

"It's the disconnect of being trained since birth to look a certain way, only to have dudes turn around and go, 'Don't you know we hate all that stuff on your face?' Like it was our idea! Like women collectively woke up one day and thought, 'Wouldn't it be awesome to slap a bunch of chemicals and dyes on our faces every morning from now on?'

We've got a multi-billion dollar industry doing their best to remind us daily that we need what they're selling, so don't act all befuddled about where we got the idea that we looked better this way. Plus, it's not like men don't still expect us to look beautiful. They just don't want us cheating with cosmetics. Hope your face is naturally flawless!

And while we're talking, don't you ladies know how annoying it is that you're all hung up on your weight? Sure, we expect you to have a great body. But don't be one of those lame girls who orders salads on a date. We like to see you eat! 

Most of the time, when men say they prefer 'natural beauty,' they don't mean that they're ready for us to start leaving the house the way we roll out of bed in the morning. They mean that they want us to look perfect without appearing to try."

So, what's a girl who likes make-up or dislikes make-up to do? Well, I think it's worth having discussions of this kind with significant or not so significant others. Every morning we wake up and choose how we present ourselves to the world. Sometimes we aren't so concerned with what the world thinks and sometimes we are. It'd be great if we could say with 100% certainty that we are putting on a dress or wearing a certain shade of lipstick, because it's what we like and that it doesn't matter what others would like to see us wear. But the thing is, we know that even if we put on a special item of clothing that means something to us, we also know that we are going to be seen by the public. And of course we wouldn't purposefully put something on our bodies that would cause judgment. So, in that sense we do care to some extent.

All in all, I say that if you enjoy make-up don't stop wearing it because a man insists that he prefers a natural look. If you dislike make-up don't feel as though you are letting yourself slip or that you are breaking your make-up free streak if you decide one day that you'd like to see what you look like wearing lipstick or a coat of nail polish. It is important to live this short life in a manner that is of your choosing. It is also important to educate those around you that living YOUR life YOUR way is acceptable and preferable.