The book explores how America is truly obsessed with virginity. I believe that whether one abstain from sex or whether they decided to partake in it, both acts are worthy of celebration. What concerns me is how the notion of being "pure" is perceived. I was delighted to read this text in 2009 and it is a book I recommend to this day.
Women are in a cultural bind where the media expects us to appear submissive and unknowing but yet perform as sex kittens that are always wanting and always willing. This is discouraging however, it doesn't end here. Our government and the church often interrupts our freedom to make decisions about our own bodies.
As a Christian I find it important to separate church and state, especially when the "church" is offered up as a conservative faith that does not represent us all. Not all of us are conservative Christians and not all of us are Christians. As a Progressive (liberal) Christian I take great issue with as we are bombarded with abstinence only education. I take issue with the phenomenon as Purity Balls where a young girl dresses up as if she were going to prom, dances with her father and pledges her virginity. She promises that her father will be the man in her life until her future husband takes over. So, her sexuality belongs to her father and God and then her sexuality will belong to her husband.
Particularly as a anti-porn feminist I take issue with the comodification of sexuality which often dictates what women are supposed to do in order to be accepted one way or another.
As a heterosexual woman I understand that the media and pornography would have us believe that a woman is not a woman until she has had sex and a woman who is a virgin or a woman who appears virginal (whatever that really means) is one to conquer. I am also upset by the fact that sex is often defined as an act between a man and a woman only. And the journey of gay individuals is either ignored or excused as something that is so misunderstood by straight people that it can only be valued as something to eroticize in a straight-like fashion. So, we see things like lesbian themed porn which may feature women being exposed to lesbian sex for the first time as if that is a form of virginity to exploit.
In her book Valenti tells us that,
"The purity myth is the lie that women's sexuality has some bearing on who we are and how good we are, because really I think we all know that young women are so much more than whether or not they have sex. We really should be teaching our daughters that their ability to be good people should be based on their intelligence, on their compassion, their kindness, not what they do with their bodies."
To my delight the book has been transformed into a documentary and the DVD was just released! The film has a slightly different title. It is called The Purity Myth: The Virginity Movement's War Against Women. Unfortunately the film is only available to colleges and Universities at this time. I can only hope that in the future it will be available for personal use.
The Purity Myth Trailer from Media Education Foundation on Vimeo.
I feel that I need to repeat that the choice to remain abstinent until marriage or until whenever a woman feels she needs to, is admirable and the choice to have sex really doesn't make anyone more special or more mature or advanced as a person in anyway. Anyone can have sex. Not having sex is a different story.
While there may be strength in abstaining from sex, it tears me up that so many young women are abstaining out of fear that their family will shame them, that they will be banned from a church or that having sex equates to promiscuity. Young women often face pressure to have sex but what we often do not think about is that there is also pressure to abstain from it.
If you can't view the film, read the book. It is very poignant.
If you are from a college and you want to purchase the film, visit the Media Education Foundation.
To learn more about Jessica Valenti and her other works, visit her official website, here.
Valenti is also the founder of the feminist blog, Feministing.
No comments:
Post a Comment