Feminist women are just that; feminist women. Feminist men? It seems that they are viewed as superheroes. Allow me to bestow a couple of examples.
An October Jezebel article, praised actor Jon Hamm for speaking at a Rape Treatment Center benefit brunch in Beverly Hills. According to Jezebel, Hamm made this statement at the brunch: "It is an important thing to instill in a younger generation about the impact of rape, the lasting impact of rape," he said, adding, "Children from grade school to high school to college are incredibly susceptible and incredibly malleable, as we all know. To get them early, to teach them about the facts and figures and other realities of rape is key. It is an important issue to me as not only a man, but as an educator, as a human being and as a person on this planet."
Example number two. On the feminist blogosphere there had been a lot of hub bub about Ryan Gosling's feminist statement which he made at the release of his film Blue Valentine. The film initially received a NC-17 rating and was later switched to an R. To read my post Ryan Gosling's Feminist Statement, click here. Gosling responded to the critics who opposed the scene in which his character performs oral sex on Michelle Williams character. Williams plays the role of Gosling's wife.
"You have to question a cinematic culture which preaches artistic expression, and yet would support a decision that is clearly a product of a patriarchy-dominant society, which tries to control how women are depicted on screen. The MPAA is okay supporting scenes that portray women in scenarios of sexual torture and violence for entertainment purposes, but they are trying to force us to look away from a scene that shows a woman in a sexual scenario, which is both complicit and complex. It’s misogynistic in nature to try and control a woman’s sexual presentation of self. I consider this an issue that is bigger than this film."
This is a great statement and no doubt a feminist one. It also caused many a feminist blogger to swoon. I had no familiarity with Jon Hamm until the Jezebel article, but have followed Gosling's career since I first saw him perform in The Believer.
I find Gosling to be a talented actor and an attractive man. I do not let these factors influence me to the point that lose my mind. Feminist bloggers did just that when they began exclaiming that Gosling was a big ol' feminist. What was missed was the fact that we are individuals on the outside looking in. In other words we have no idea as to whether Gosling is a feminist. We don't know that he is, we don't know that he's not. We do not know if Gosling even gives himself the label.
If he is a feminist, what does that really mean for the rest of us? It is my distinct impression that the women who go gaga for Gosling are delighted at the mere idea of an attractive male feminist. I believe the reason behind this is that they can now add Gosling to their fantasy of the perfect male feminist mate.
As a feminist I know that it is difficult to find feminist men as romantic partners or as friends. But let us not allow our judgement to cloud. It is great if a handsome man claims to be a feminist but it is equally wonderful if the most unattractive man we've ever laid eyes on, is also a feminist.
In my book, it is unfair to assume that Hamm or Gosling are full fledged feminists. It is also nonsensical to view them as heroes. I will however, tip my hat to anyone who makes feminist statements and to anyone who actually claims to be a feminist.
While I maintain that feminist men are not heroes just as female feminists are not sheroes, I can tell you that it is important to have men in our girlie camp. Because after all, feminism is not "a women's issue." It is an issue for all. It is important that we understand that men and women must work as allies. Not only does it not behoove women to be so angry with men that they cannot make room for men in feminism, it is actually essential to include men in the feminist movement. As author and professor Bell Hooks would say, men are "our comrades in struggle."
Patriarchy is the hierarchy that comes from men, so of COURSE we need men. But it is not simply for our gain that we need men to embrace feminism, but it is for their sake as well. Patriarchy benefits men which is why it continues to exist. But it also does them a disservice as it prevents them from loving themselves without the heavy handed shame that stems from traditional gender roles. The gender roles which state that manhood exists without true authenticity and the gender roles which state that women are submissive and less human than men. Every man has a woman in their life whether it be someone close to them or whether it is women with whom one has simple interactions within their communities. We co-exist and we love and desire. We need feminism.
My issue is that when the rarity of male feminists overshadows the work that needs to be done. Let us be grateful for male feminists but let us not believe they are demigods.
Anti-racist author and public speaker Tim Wise, recognizes his white male privilege when he states in many of his lectures, that he is fully aware that he is being listened to because he is white. That all he is sharing are things that black individuals already know, and that when they speak, their audiences are much smaller than his.
It is important for male feminists to understand this concept. Male feminist authors and speakers need not feel shamed for the work they do, or pressure to "perform" a certain way. But it is imperative that they humble themselves and understand that they do not deserve special treatment.
It is not that we women are allowing them into our space. To think that way would be acting upon a belief that some how women are superior to men, being that men are often the perpetrators of violence and other harmful acts of sexism. It is illogical and hurtful to feel superior to men just because so many men feel superior to women. Where is the progress in that? And where does the personal healing exist within that mindset?
Feminism is not just a movement but a process. Every feminist has their history and herstory with feminism in their pocket and proceeds with their journey. It is important to know that each male feminist has their own story to tell and it is a wonderful thing for a man to push against the grain of male dominance and join the side of progress. Let us embrace our brothers but not put them on pedestals. Female feminists are just that; female feminists. Male feminists are just that; male feminists, not superheroes.
No comments:
Post a Comment