I have not gone into detail but earlier this week a close friend of mine committed suicide. Initially I thought that I would keep this information off my blog but I am finding that the blog is helping vent. So, why not utilize it? I have chosen, however, to keep the details of my friend's death to myself.
I simply hope that whomever cares to read these posts on grieving will get something out of it for themselves. If not that's okay. I am getting something from it and I am grateful for that.
I saw the below image posted on a blog site and it made me feel instantaneously better.
Originally uploaded by Bernadeth on flickr
So, I started searching for artwork with this same theme. I was curious as to what was out there.
Here is some of what I found.
Unframed Gocco print from Jessgonacha sold on etsy
What a great idea this is. I don't want to take anything away from Jessgonacha but I think we can all make these on our own without paying for it. I think I might have to do something like this in my home.
Framed gocco print from Jessgonacha sold on Etsy
And for those who want it framed..
Daily Affirmations from Sparklepower sold on Etsy
(source)
Tattoo
Message in an empty building in Detroit. Originally uploaded by flickr user Catlinisnice
"Hold My Hand It Will Be Alright"
Oil pastel drawing by Vanessa De Lacy
I must say I am very taken by this piece. The artwork seems to be reminiscent of the childrens book, Where The Wild Things Are.
"I Think I am Going to Be Alright" by Emma Davies (2005 - 6 )
Tempora and Gouache on Canvas
Artwork by John Pule (2008)
Oil on canvas
I began to wonder. What is it about affirmations? I find that when I'm feeling down, that listening to Bob Marley will usually make me feel better. Why is it that simply hearing someone say,
"Don't worry about a thing...every little thing's gonna be alright"
makes everything better? Aside from the melodies, up tempo, and vocal stylings of Mr. Marely, I wondered what it was about positive words that could suddenly alter mood.
One might argue that the power of thought is profound. Whether you believe in the laws of attraction where what you put out and think comes to you, or cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) where one attempts to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, it seems that some how our thoughts really do affect us more often than we realize. Whether you believe in something or nothing, doesn't affirmation assist us in some shape or form along the way?
Affirmations come in different forms and at different levels of intensity. So, why is it that something as simple as a piece of paper that says "Everything Will Be Alright" gives me some kind of hope?
I have fleetingly thought about this topic before. Is it weakness that allows us to accept any kind of consolation or encouragement that comes our way? Is it that we are feeling so vulnerable at the time that such simplicity can assist us? That we will cling to whatever we can? Crumbs crumbs glorious crumbs?
I found a website entitled Vital Affirmations that gives an explanation. I should note that I am not promoting this site or suggesting anyone follow it as I have not examined it carefully. If you care to visit the site you can come to your own opinion.
Below I have copied and pasted information from the website that I have been mulling over.
Why do affirmations work?
By choosing to think and say positive affirmations as true, the subconscious is forced into one of two reactions - avoidance or reappraisal. The bigger the issue the bigger the gap between the positive affirmation and the perceived inner truth and the more likely that one is going to experience resistance. This is where the subconscious finds it easier to stay with its perceived inner truth and avoid the challenge using any means at its disposal to avoid examining the issue. You will recognize this reaction by a strong negative feeling inside as you state the positive affirmations. Equally if your experience a sense of joy and well being, your mind is instinctively responding to something it believes to be true. When you get this emotion, you know your affirmations are working!
Continually repeating affirmations with conviction and passion will chip away at even the strongest resistance. Once the resistance is broken, your subconscious is able to re-examine the core belief and patterns you have been working on. The effect can be startling and things can change very quickly as the dysfunctional beliefs get identified and replaced by your own new inner truth. Depending on how deep into your consciousness these beliefs lay, every other learned pattern and belief that relied on the original belief as a premise, becomes unfounded. The subconscious has to re-examine them all, this can lead to a period of introspection. If you find yourself experiencing serious resistance or have identified an area of trauma in your life, I strongly urge you to seek professional support, the journey you are embarking on will release you from the past but having proper support around you as you go through the process will make it so much easier.
Because affirmations actually reprogram your thought patterns, they change the way you think and feel about things, and because you have replaced dysfunctional beliefs with your own new positive beliefs, positive change comes easily and naturally. This will start to reflect in your external life, you will start to experience seismic changes for the better in many aspects of your life.
When we are grieving, is it important to begin affirmations right away? I think it is important to allow ourselves to feel sad, angry, frustration, anxious, fearful, whatever, especially when we are in the early stages of grieving.
How quickly do affirmations work
From day one, there will be affirmations you love and enjoy saying, these affirmations are likely to be very effective for you and you are likely to start experience changes almost immediately. Others will feel very negative, almost like a big lie, this indicates resistance and these areas may take longer to impact. How quickly you can resolve an issue like this is like asking how long is a piece of string. It depends on the issue, how deeply the belief is held and how determined you are to bring about change in that area of your life, the latter being perhaps the most important of all. If you are truly ready and want to make changes, the quicker those changes will come for you.
The above information touches on something that I have thought about myself. I think that initially some affirmations may seem false or like lies. I have wondered if essentially the process of affirming is actually lying to ourselves until we believe it.
What I've come to realize is that it is perfectly okay to "fake it until you make it." Our brains begin to recognize a positivity pathway. Thinking positively will not necessarily make all your dreams come true but it will prepare you for when things turn sour. But it is not only about being able to better handle tragic fall. When we are positive we are able to see new possibility which might actually change the route before us. Why spend time in misery if we don't have to?
I get that this is all easier said than done. As you read this I can sense some of you thinking.."but but but!" I am a "butt-er" too. With practice we can rid ourselves of them.
Currently, I am in a place where it is still very difficult for me to wrap my brain around the fact that my friend is gone. This is the first time I have ever really lost someone close to me. Death is new to me. This will certainly be an interesting life lesson.
I live in my head a lot as it is and now I am working overtime. I suppose there is no one way that this process is supposed to flow. I am attempting to be patient with myself.
I do not think that positive affirmations are like wishes that all of a sudden come true. I think that it is a process of reshaping. Prior to the death of my friend I had actually been attempting to rewire my little pea brain through positive thinking. I am indeed usually more pessimistic than optimistic and I am trying to do some undoing here.
I don't know how I will heal from this loss. But I think....I do think...that just maybe..."Everything Will Be Alright."
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