I've been reading a book called The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists by Irvin D. Yalom.
For many of us in the clinical field, Yalom is considered the man! A psychotherapist, an author and a genius! Heh, I remember a professor of mine in grad school showed the class a photo of herself posing with Yalom at a conference. Our married professor referred to him as her boyfriend. It was very cute.
I've studied Yalom's work in grad school, utilized his methods in therapy with clients and continue to be amazed by his work. His ideas are clear and practicial and his books read quickly like novels.
There are some books that I have yet to tackle, like the 524 page book, Existential Psychotherapy. Heh, sometimes I'll see this book in a bookstore and I'm afraid to go near it! I become overwhelmed just looking at it.
I just found out that Irvin D. Yalom will be speaking at a conference (one that is considered to be the world's largest psychotherapy conference) this December in Anaheim, CA! That's 45 minutes away from me. I wish I could go! It's a 6 day conference and I have no idea how the people who attend have been able to afford that time off. By using acrrued vacation time I guess. For more information head on over to EvolutionofPsychotherapy.com. Also, in attendance will be such greats as Deepak Chopra (author, endocrinologist, mind body and spirit guru), Andrew Weil (Physician of integrated medicine), Salvador Minuchin (therapist and founder of the Minuchin Center for the Family), and Aaron Beck (therapist, author and president of Beck Institute of Cognitive Therapy and Research).
I am just a year out of grad school and very much a newbie. I am by no means a seasoned professional, however, my eyes and ears are wide open.
One of the greatest gifts I think Yalom has bestowed upon us clinical folks is his honesty. The first book I ever read by Yalom was in my senior year of college. The book is entitled Love's Executioner & Other Tales of Psychotherapy. This book is a collection of essays written by Yalom, which divulge personal accounts of counter-transference. In short, counter-transference is when a therapist begins to project his or her own unresolved conflicts onto the client.
In Love's Executioner, Yalom examines his own issues that present themselves during therapy sessions with clients. This is a book that I think all can enjoys, not just those in the field.
"I do no like to work with patients who are in love. Perhaps it is because of envy - I, too, crave enchantment. Perhaps it is because love and psychotherapy are fundamentally incompatible. The good therapist fights darkness and seeks illumination, while romantic love is sustained by mystery and crumbles upon inspection. I hate to be love's executioner."
Yalom exposes himself to the utmost vulerability in with his true stories. In one essay he describes his sessions with an overweight woman and how he was disgusted by her heaviness. He eventually learned to turn this around and even when on a diet of his own as she was attempting to lose weight with her.
While counter-transference is important for a clinician to examine, I think the concept extends to other parts of life. Transference and counter-transference are techinical terms or jargon used in the professional world. But ultimately these things happen to us in other environments as well.
How often do we project what we feel onto someone else? One, two, three times a day? How often are we aware that we are doing it? How important is it to obtain insight into this behavior?
While transference and counter-transference are not commonly used outside of the therapeutic setting, I think that acknowledging that this occurs within ourselves is a great sign of humility. I am a huge advocate of humility. While I used to pride myself on my ability to admit when I am wrong and another is right, I have learned over the years that humility is much more than that alone.
I think that acknowledging and exploring our projections is a huge step towards truly knowing ourselves and towards healing old wounds.
If I am struggling with a certain individual I at times find that I must do a reality check and figure out if I am responding a certain way because this person reminds me of someone else. I believe that not only does the process of projection place unfairness onto others but it robs us of the opportunity to appreciate others.
Another good question to ask is...whenever we find someone to be pleasant or unplesant...is this always a sign of projection? I'd like to think not. But who knows, as we are all so linked together as human beings.
While there are many theories under the umbrella of psychology I have continued to understand that psychology is not this separate thing that exists out there for clinicians alone, but it is everywhere. Whether we give it the name of psychology or not it is an exploration of human behavior. I think on some level we are all curious about what people do and why they do it.
P.S.
I stumbled upon some funny comic drawings on Psychotherapy.net.
This is of course a stab at the insurance companies that obviously do not consider mental health to be as important as physical health.
Dorky, but cute..
Ah a sign of the times...
For more info on the topics of psychotherapy visit...
Psychotherapy.net
EvolutionofPsychotherapy.com
Yalom.com
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