Dear fellow feminists...are we too hard on boys and men? Bill Maher seems to think so..

Dear fellow feminists...are we too hard on boys and men? Bill Maher seems to think so.


Politically Incorrect - July 2001 - PART 1


Politically Incorrect - July 2001 - PART 2

A couple years ago I watched these YouTube videos of Bill Maher on his former show Politically Incorrect. The topic is feminism and his guests are documentary maker and political activist Michael Moore, actress Sandra Bernhard, actress Yancy Butler, and author Christina Hoff Sommers.

In this post I'll be discussing different brands of feminism that seem to have popped up in our culture.

First things first..

In the videos Maher immediately states that he is a big fan of Sommers' book The War Against Boys.



I have not read the book however I am considering it as I am always interested in hearing the other side of things. In other words I think it is important to listen to views that are different than your own. When I do this I am usually able to find some food for thought. My opinions might change or previous opinions may end up even more securely fastened than they were before.

Thus far it seems that her views are indeed different from mine as I have read several reviews of her book.

In The War Against Boys she states, "There have always been societies that favored boys over girls. Ours may be the first to deliberately throw the gender switch. If we continue on our present course, boys will, indeed, be tomorrow's second sex."

Sommers encourages parents and educators to let boys be boys, even though their "very masculinity turns out to be politically incorrect."

In 2000 Publisher Weekly reviewed the book and remarked that Sommers is,

At odds with conventional wisdom that paints girls as victimized and boys as emotionally repressed. "Routinely regarded as protosexists, potential harassers and perpetuators of gender inequity, boys live under a cloud of censure," she writes, going on to show how they are also falling behind academically in an educational system that currently devotes more attention to the needs of girls. Pointing out that "Mother Nature is not a feminist," she also dismisses the current vogue to "feminize" boys, calling social androgyny a "well-intentioned but ill-conceived reform." Instead, Sommers champions "the reality that boys and girls are different, that each sex has its distinctive strengths and graces."

These sentiments set the tone for the Politically Incorrect episode posted above.

Maher starts things off by saying that feminism has changed over the years. He relates feminism to the media and states that many movies depict women "kicking ass."

This particular Politically Incorrect episode aired in 2001. And I agree that even in 2009 we still have many forms of media that display women as ass kickers. Somehow that is supposed to equate to feminism and it really is non-sensical. It seems to be a sad attempt at potraying women as empowered and above men. This is pop-feminism at its best.

In other words it is not feminism at all. Women do not need to rise ABOVE men. That isn't equality.

Sommers then says that feminism today sends the message that women are victims of an oppressive patriarchal society. I think that sometimes the word "victim" gets a bad rap. I have never referred to myself as a victim, especially since I practice feminism. However, sexism does exist. I cannot deny that. So, if sexism is put upon me...what does that make me? A victim? Technically, but I do not lie in the gutter. I do what I can to educate myself and to make moves towards equality.

However, Sommers makes a good point when she suggests that in feminism many often look at men as if they are evil. I think that one of the reasons that there is a stigma against feminism is not just because if men embraced feminism they would have to let go of privilege. I also believe that some women are truly very angry at men which may leave some men feeling that they have no place in feminism. Even though I think plenty of women have reason to feel angry, I think it does women and men no good if we are to consider men the enemy. It leaves our hearts hardened, if affects our quality of life and it does not create an environment in which we can really work with men to overcome oppression.

Sommers goes on to stress her belief that femininity and masculinity are not myths. It is the old nature vs. nurture argument. She tells us that we should let our boys grow as boys and they should not be "resocialized towards femininity". I think she misses the mark when she suggests that feminist want men to be more feminine.

I think she misses the mark here. I think many feminist mothers attempt to raise their children in gender neutral environments so that they may choose for themselves (But of course boys and girls are likely to be influenced the moment they enter school though. Boys and girls will learn that pink is designated to girls and blue for boys. That boys play with trucks and girls play with kitchen sets).

Maher goes back to his original thought about how feminism in the media portrays women as "ass kickers" but he feels that really women want to be protected. When actress Sandra Bernhard asks, "who the hell doesn't want to be protected?" Maher says that men don't have a choice in the matter and that men have to do the protecting.

This thought reminded me of my senior year of college in which my multi-cultural counseling program was required to read a book (and for the life of me I can't remember its title) where the author said that in our society men are obligated to protect women even if they don't want to. I believe the example the author gave was that if a man sees a female stranger in trouble he is obligated to risk his safety for her, simply because she is female.

Bernhard went on to say that "everyone should protect everybody and that's the way it should be." I agree. I would like to think that a man would help another man, a woman would help another woman, and a woman would help another man.

Even so, I did take pause to Maher's view. I think that biologically men are most often physically stronger than women. I do not think this statement makes me less of a feminist. If a woman or man feels more comfortable being physically assisted by a man I don't think that it has much to do with sexuality and gender but rather physicality. This is not to say that some women are not stronger than men.

So, in this Politically Incorrect episode the panel speaks to two brands of feminism. One in which women feel the need to rise above men through acting "cool", exploiting their sexuality and "kicking ass", which I consider to be nothing but pop-feminism. The second is where women consider themselves to be victims and therefore lash out at men. I do not consider either brand to equate to genuine feminism. I think it is the feminists to subscribe to THESE brands of feminism who are too hard on boys and men.

As for the nature vs. nurture argument, I think that while there may be some biological differences between males and females, I stand by the belief that socialization plays a huge part in influencing us as people. If you disagree with you I will allow you to conduct your own research.

So, I will conclude by saying it is those false brands of feminism that contribute to pushing men away and making them feel inferior or like outcasts. Additionally, I think it is those types of feminism that make men feel that they have no place in feminism.