A purity ball is a prom like dancing and dining event where young girls accompany their fathers as a "date". The girls partake in a ceremony in which their vow to remain virgins until they marry.
As a Christian woman I must say that these purity balls seem rather cultish. First of all the word "pure" suggests perfection which is impossible. Additionally, it suggests that those who have have pre-marital sex are tainted.
The Purity Daughters - Documentary - directed by Jane Treays: Trailer
It seems that many of the young women who attend these balls are simply doing what their fathers have indoctrinated. In watching the documentary (which unfortunately is not available to post here) I get the sense of brain washing.
Let me be clear. I think it is a wonderful idea for parents to talk to their children about sex and sexuality. Additionally, I should mention that I am not opposed to waiting for marriage if that is what the individual chooses. I do however, think that these purity balls are a way for fathers to control their daughters.
If you watch the documentary you will see that the fathers are very loving with their daughters but I would argue that purity balls are not an act of love. These fathers may or may not have insight into the fact that they are indeed controlling their daughters. They are controlling them by suggesting that their sexuality is not their own.
Many conservative Christians are probably barking at the computer screen and exclaiming that one's sexuality belongs to God. While I do agree that God gave us our sexuality as a one of his many gifts (just like breath, just like our minds etc) I think that it places a terrible weight on a person to suggest that how they conduct themselves sexuality must reflect the wishes of their parents.
I should also note that although young men participate in these ceremonies, the emphasis is on the young women. Now why is that so? Must females be protected? Is that the idea? I think that this ceremony is very patriarchal.
To view the documentary on YouTube click on the links below.
The Purity Daughters PART 1
The Purity Daughters PART 2
The Purity Daughters PART 3
The Purity Daughters PART 4
The Purity Daughters PART 5
Believe me when I say that I want young women and men to enter into respectful relationships. I am not a fan of "hooking up" or casual sex. I am not suggesting that a person should or should not wait for marriage to engage in sex. I am simply suggesting that these purity balls present the idea that girls OWE their fathers.
In these videos some daughters say to their fathers that their fathers make them feel like a "princess". I personally do not want my father to make me feel like a princess. I do not wish to dress up as a princess with a tiara in my hair and dance with my father and hang on his arm. I also think that signing a piece of paper to remain "pure" is insulting. I understand that it is a symbol of their commitment, however, essentially she is signing over her sexuality over to her father.
I do think that their is risk in promiscuity. I agree that we live in a time where more and more young men and women are involved in reckless and irresponsible sex. I also have no problem with fathers and mothers loving, cherishing and guiding their children. I think these purity balls however, are a way in which parents try to "lock down" their children.
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