"Fuck" is a word I often don't like. It's a word that has slipped from my mouth when stubbing my toe or dropping something delicate. Heh! However, I see "fuck" as a pollutant word when used in a sexist manner. When used in sentences like "I fucked her/him last night" or "yeah we fucked", it becomes about dominance. Just another form of language that makes me feel that I need to protect myself. Does this make me sound "square", "reserved", "conservative"? I'm sure many think so. However..consider this...
"Attention to the meaning of the central male slang term for sexual intercourse - "fuck" is instructive. To fuck a woman is to have sex w/ her. To fuck someone in another context...means to hurt or cheat that person. And when hurled as a simple insult the intent is denigration and the remark is often a prelude to violence or the threat of violence. Sex in Patriarchy is fucking. That we live in a world in which people continue to use the same word for sex and violence and then resist the notion that sex is routinely violent and claim to be outraged when sex becomes overtly violent, is a testament to the power of Patriarchy."
-------------------Excerpt from The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity and Love by Bell Hooks
"LOVING SEXUAL INTIMACY...EXPRESSES CARE AND APPRECIATION. IT IS MUTUAL GIVING, NOT TAKING. IT IS AN AREA IN WHICH INDIVIDUALS NUTURE EACH OTHER RATHER THAN EXPLOIT EACH OTHER. IN LOVING SEXUAL INTIMACY, SEXUAL PARTNERS ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE. THEY ARE UNIQUE IN THEIR HISTORIES, APTITUDES, STRUGGLES AND JOYS. THEY EMPATHIZE, THEY ARE INTERESTED IN EACH OTHER, THEY USE PHYSICAL INTIMACY TO DEEPEN THEIR EMOTIONAL INTIMACY..THEY ARE COMMITTED TO GROWING TOGETHER."
-------------------------Heart of the Soul by Gary Zukav
I often find myself curious if those who use the word "fuck" rather than "sex" know why they do so. Do we think about the language we use or is it automatic due to how we are socially raised?
Perhaps "fuck" is appropriate as there are many who do want what I call empty sex. While these people are not bad people (and my goal is not to offend) I often think that when the goal is to "fuck" one or both parties consciously or subconsciously are in the position to desire dominance. It becomes an act where one concurs the other, or where one "scores."
Ever meet someone who is proud of their "lay"? A perfect example of dominance. "I fucked her/him!" Dominance.