Are you happy? How happy are you? How would you define happiness?
As a person in the mental health profession these are some questions I have asked myself. In therapy today most professionals focus on the pain and pathology of the client. It is rare that a therapist will blatantly put the pursuit of happiness on the agenda. However, there is a relatively knew movement in the psychology world that focuses on positivity. "Positive therapists" focus on the strengths of a client. For example if a person is an alcoholic the therapist will focus on their resiliency rather than their short comings or set backs. A very strength based approach.
Now, while strength based practice isn't anything new for us social workers - whether you are a clinical social worker or a medical social worker, etc., it isn't always readily practiced in all areas of mental health.
For example. According to a 2007 Harvard Magazine article, The Science of Happiness,
"the Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry, the clinical “bible” of psychiatry and clinical psychology, “has 500,000 lines of text. There are thousands of lines on anxiety and depression, and hundreds of lines on terror, shame, guilt, anger, and fear. But there are only five lines on hope, one line on joy, and not a single line on compassion, forgiveness, or love."
Psychiatrists are often stereotyped as doctors that do not provide good therapy. Some do not provide therapy at all. Initially this was a surprise to me as they undergo so much schooling. Be that as it may, many clients visit a therapist for their emotional needs and a psychiatrist for their pharmaceutical needs. I think that shrinks could benefit from offering positive therapy.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if a client could be weaned off of their medications? This is not always possible but I think positive therapy could assist in that pursuit.
Our forefathers and mothers of psychology often told us that we are subject to stimuli and innate drives. Freud for example (or "Sigy" as one of my grad school professors once referred to him) believed that we humans are slaves to two drives. Sex and aggression. That's limiting if you ask me. Not to mention depressing.
I was recently re-reading some of the Dalai Lama's, Art of Happiness. He says that the desire for happiness is actually an innate drive. Should we take the word of a Buddhist teacher who has not expertise in the field of psychology? We can make up our own minds but his belief sparks some bigger questions. As humans do we desire happiness consistently? Perhaps if we don't have enough of it?
In the 2007 Harvard Magazine article, Psychologist Daniel Gilbert says, “Well, of course we don’t get as much of it as we want. But we’re not supposed to be happy all the time. We want that, but nature designed us to have emotions for a reason. Emotions are a primitive signaling system. They’re how your brain tells you if you’re doing things that enhance—or diminish—your survival chances. What good is a compass if it’s always stuck on north? It must be able to fluctuate. You’re supposed to be moving through these emotional states. If someone offers you a pill that makes you happy 100 percent of the time, you should run fast in the other direction. It’s not good to feel happy in a dark alley at night. Happiness is a noun, so we think it’s something we can own. But happiness is a place to visit, not a place to live. It’s like the child’s idea that if you drive far and fast enough you can get to the horizon—no, the horizon’s not a place you get to.”
So, what makes us happy? I think most of us have heard or know from personal experiences that wealth doesn't always make us happy. Rich people may seem to have it all but that isn't always the case. Many studies say that friendship and companionship is higher on the list than anything else.
But we are not all the same. What about the clinically depressed? Statistics on depression are always rising. What makes so many so sad? Genetics? Environment? I'd say often both. It is also important to note that those who may have not started off unhappy can become clinically depressed if they are in an environment that is persistently negative or emotionally harmful. Chemicals in the brain can actually change.
Depression is laid out on a spectrum. Behaviorists measure happiness by simply asking their clients. While it seems too easy the answers are usually valid. For those who suffer from deep depression, or even mild depresion (Dysthymia) that persists, life is often seen through a shade of grey.
Family and friends may become frustrated and encourage their loved ones to "snap out of it," or "keep your chin up" or utter the oh so common, "this too shall pass." But what is important to understand is that what may uplift or encourage a non-depressive may not reach someone who is depressed.
In my experience in working with adults with depression I have witnessed the vast difference between an individual who feels "stuck" and one who is on their way to recovery. A person is able to notice how they were once merely surviving but are now on their way to living.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a method that encourages clients to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. A simple concept but a difficult practice. A practice that often produces positive results.
Well, what about those who claim to be happy or content? These days aren't we seeing more and more people pursue peace, zen, spirituality and other relaxing calming practices such as meditation and yoga? Wellness practices are on the rise and people are getting to be quite creative in the way that they choose to do it. Why reach out to a mind, body and spirit retreat if you are happy?
Why? Because life is tough. I believe that it is not meant to be easy. We all deal with daily stressors and being that we are human and not perfect we all have our own emotional and intellectual issues to face.
In my own life I have met some damn happy people. But I think all attitudes of happiness are not the same. For instance, I once new a woman in college who was always smiling, always giggling. Her positivity was not irritating or obnoxious but rather quite infectious. Being around her was definitely inspiring and uplifting.
She once told me that she couldn't ever imagine not being happy. Years later she told me that she had experienced some brief periods of depression in her life and that was a first for her. She said that her happiness now is much more authentic, deeper and genuine. She is not giggly all of the time but because she experienced obstacles and over came them she is able to empathize with others who are happy and sad. She has more gratitude and now makes an effort to practice happiness.
Practicing happiness is a concept that intrigues me. I think we have all heard that happiness is a state of mind. So, how do we reach this state? It comes by bringing positivity into our lives. For some of us this may be hard to do. I know for myself it can be difficult as I admit I am a pessimist. So, basically I am attempting to rewire my little pea brain. Changing old habits is hard especially if you have been actually practicing them.I find it quite motivating when I understand that to maintain pessimism one must actually practice it. Eeesh!
We can pursue happiness and practice it by being good to ourselves. By reading, writing, discussing, perhaps keeping a gratitude journal. We can learn to accept sadness and other seemingly negative emotions rather than shaming ourselves for it. Participate in activities you enjoy and be patient with yourself. Clear out obstacles to your own happiness.
Any negative thinking that I may harbor are a hindrance. For those of us who are pessimists we most likely have been pessimists for a very long time. If this is the case it is even more difficult to stretch our limbs away from our little miserable nitch.
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