Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Believe it or not...what Sex and the City taught me..


(thehautelist.files.wordpress.com)

Sex and the City the movie. I don't know why I watch the movie (or the tv show) as all four women annoy me in some manner. They all play games and are very poor at communication. In fact, I think the majority of their problems could be solved or improved if they were to communicate with the men in their lives. Although, I think the show would be dramatically different. I suppose I find them all entertaining in their own way, otherwise I wouldn't watch it. But it's definitely not a feminist show that's for sure!

Anyway..

In the film there is a point where due to terrible romantic circumstances "Carrie" is devastated and her 3 best friends take care of her. They are not only there for her but they take care of her in every way. It was so touching and it very much moved me.

In my broken relationship moments I've never had that kind of support. Concerned friends yes, but never support like that. I don't even know if it is something I would have wanted at the time. I'm used to taking care of things myself. Falling, flailing, slithering on my stomach, crawling on all fours and then finding my Bambi legs, and then finally standing upright all on my own.

Regardless the film had me thinking about support from friends. It seems that women are often the ones that are willing to be there for others in that way. Especially with other women. Any of you gals have friends who would actually feed you when you're too tired, depressed, devastated, non-functional to move? Anyone willing to take care of arrangements that you can't possibly deal with yourself due to downtrodden circumstances? Anyone willing to literally carry you?

I also began to wonder....would men do this for other men? I won't be so closed minded as to say it never happens. But admittedly it is difficult for me to imagine a man (gay or straight) taking it upon himself to take chicken noodle soup to a sick male friend's house. I can't imagine a man taking the time to think of bringing something over that they know their other friend would like in an attempt to comfort.

Perhaps men help each other out in different ways. Perhaps I'm too cynical and there is more love and support between men than I recognize. But I can't help but think....nope, it's just another example of how men are socialized. Sexism breeds more sexism. Round and round it goes. So, much that it negatively affects the ones who benefit from it. Perhaps there are many men out there who feel that they wouldn't need that kind of open support and love from other male friends. But the sad thing is...perhaps they wouldn't know what to do or how to feel if they were to receive that kind of love. And perhaps not receiving that kind of kindness BECAUSE they are men, is the norm. Now isn't THAT sad?

Anyway...may all your friends not only be people who you enjoy time with. But people whom you love to love.

No comments:

Post a Comment